Part 75 ( THE FINALE ;***)

DEDICATED TO ALL MY READER'S :***
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Dalal:

I opened my eyes and there he was…in his white dish dasha looking oh so fine… For some reason I was in this weird looking bed…it looked like a hospital…I was wearing the stupid pink robe patients wear…he walked towards me calmly smiling his killer smile and showing off his pearly whites…it’s just so surreal…like it’s a dream of some sort…nothing was making sense yet I was calmed by his presence…just the sight of him comforts me.

He looked luminous….yes yes luminous like he was radiating light…I don’t understand. The background was a blur…just out of focus but 7amad…he was sharp…
He bent down…his face inches away from mine.

“shlon il7ilwa?” I smiled…I love hearing him say stuff like that.

As simple as it is…it has a great effect on me.

As I stared back at him…I tried to find the words to describe how I was.

And…just one word came up…stupid but true.

“In-love” he smiled... He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

After that he went a little lower and placed his lips between mine. It was sensational. I just wanted to be in his arms…to be safe yet wild at the same time…I’ve always been that way with him.

I go crazy and he keeps me sane…I get into trouble and he gets me out...I need someone he’s the first person I think of…not even Dayoom tops that…it’s always him.

He brushed his fingers against my cheeks focusing hard on me… his smile*sigh*…his name that was printed on my heart.

Wait…no…wait…

My heartbeat started to race.

WAIT!! He was slowly slipping away…

“Wait! 7amad!”
“3yoona…”
“wain ray7? I need you” my heart was aching it was like I knew I was losing him. I held his hand firmly.
“wain baroo7?” he teased using his famous crocked smile.
“Daloolty”I smiled
“a7ibich” I blushed
“ana akthar”

The background behind 7amad suddenly blinded me with a sudden light…it was so bright it blended well with his white Dishdasha… I closed my eyes for a second…just one second…his hands slipped away from mine and when I opened my eyes again he was gone…and I wasn’t in the same room anymore….

Darkness took over again.

................................................................................

Dayoom:

For the last two days we were next to her…waiting for her to open her eyes….to just give us hope.
Thankfully Dalool didn’t suffer from any broken bones…she was bruised…she had a cut above her ear so they bandaged her. My heart goes out to 5alty Haya and her family.

They have been a nervous wreck after they heard the bad news. Their father had to fly back after what he heard.

The doctor told us she should wake up soon...

I just want my sister back…

The sight of the car alone was a nightmare…a reminder to what happened to us.
…………………………………………

Fajoor:

Rakan has been my rock ever since what happened…I kept crying…just the sight of …of 7amad…it’s a sight I won’t ever forget…it’s not what I wanted to remember him by. His bloody shirt and his bruised up face….god…I just miss him.

I want him back…my heart feels like it’s bleeding nonstop…7amad…it’s hard mentioning his name.

“7abebty…Dalal 9a7at”

He helped me up…I haven’t been able to put one foot in front of the other. I still haven’t seen her…my brother is all I can think about. I just hate that his last memory was when they dragged his body out of the car…his lifeless body.

We were right behind them and we saw it all… My brother’s car flipped three or four times right in front of me… my brother and Dalal were in it.…Dalal passed out in her chair…held by her seatbelt…and my brother…oh god…just the picture of him…it’s…it’s too hard to describe.

Rakan was driving me back home…he took control. He told me to stay in the car as he ran over to them. I don’t think I was able to get out of the car.

Seeing you’re older brother…the brother who protects you…who stands by you…who sometimes annoys you just to get a good laugh…seeing him lying there…eyes wide open and covered in blood…

It’s something too much to handle on your own.

I think my heart forgot to beat…my loved ones were in there…

“Fajoorty iklay shay 3ashany…”
“Rakan wala mally 5ilg”
“7ayatee ma kalaity shay kilish….3ashany” I nodded.

I was that weak…I recently got married and now…I just can’t believe this.
My mom has been a mess…it’s not as easy as to see your first child…your son like that.

Rakan got me to eat something and we went to up to the hospital room.
……………………………………
Dalal:

I opened my eyes to this bright white room…the smell was familiar…I knew it was a hospital just from the smell of it. I tightened my grip and I felt a hand…it was my mom. I still don’t understand…what? Why am I here?…oh my god…

Oh my god...7amad…is he?...no no…this has to be a nightmare…there’s no way it was real…
Everything that happened came back to me…his last moment…

I looked around the room as they all rushed towards me…

Fajoor, 5aled nor 5alty Haya were around…oh god…

Everyone looked like crap…it’s like they haven’t slept in years…Dayoom was crying it was obvious…does that mean…my 7amad…no…no..please don’t let it be true…

He died…I saw him…no…no…please just don’t let it be true.

“7am..7amad?” I asked

They looked at each other trying to find the words to tell me…

“Dalal ildictor yabeech tirta7ain…no more talking 7ayatee”

Why is she shutting me up?

No…no….this can’t happen….he’s dead?

I started to shake violently…

“Wain 7am”
“Dalal! Nabeech tirta7ain 3ashany” Dayoom couldn’t take it so she left…
“mama…7amad…7amad ma…eh..7amad mat?... mama please tell me he’s not gone…please…*tears*…he can’t…no…he’s not dead….he’s…yuma please”
“sta’3fer alla…Daloola 7abeebty…7amad…ehh…7amad”

My dad and the doctor barged in at that moment.

I need to know…is..is my 7amad…still my 7amad

Is he still alive?

“isalam 3alaikom…il7ilwa gamat” he smiled to me…I think I know him…

“shlonich il7een? 7asa ib 3awar?” I was in pain…physically and emotionly…
My tears were still hanging around….waiting to just fall…I nodded.

My dad came to my side..
“you scared us…you know that *wink*” he’s being too nice…

Does that mean…please…oh god…please let it be a nightmare.

After the doctor checked my vitals and all that stuff…I kept looking around to see….to see if I could just…I don’t know.

I want to know…I want to know if 7amad is ok…but I’m too afraid of the answer…
What if they tell me…he’s passed? What am I going to do?

The doctor was a close friend of my dad’s…that’s why he was so familiar I saw him before.
He chatted…I think my dad made him do that to avoid the question I wanted to ask…to avoid telling me.

After he left I remained quiet…do I want to know the answer.
I have to know.

“mama…7amad?”
“7abebty…7amad”
“yuba! Yuma they need you!”

My mom and dad ran after 5alood….who’s they? Where are they going?
What’s going on?
……………………………………………….
Dayoom:

I couldn’t stand it….watching her looking for him…wondering…I went out to the hall way when I saw 5alty Haya…she looked so pale and so thin.

Everything went by so slowly…I saw her swaying and I knew it. I knew her legs were giving up on her.

She fainted…this is not good.

I ran towards her, 5aled wasn’t around nor was his father.

5alood (my brother) ran over to call my parents to help me. 3zooz helped me pull her off the ground. Seconds later my parents were helping her to a seat and getting her water.

I hate this…but these things happen and it’s how you deal with them that truly defines who you are…lazem fee eman…that’s what my mom and 5alty haya told me yesterday…I guess it just made sense to me.

5alty haya had a hard time expressing herself with everything happening around her…I don’t blame her.

Losing 7amad isn’t something you get over easily…

How are we suppose to tell her? The doctor asked us not to disturb her with awful news…this could kill her.
………………………………………
Dalal:

My parents walked both looking tired, exhausted and worried. I need to know where he is…I need 7amad…I love him…no…this is not happening.
Wake up… WAKE UP!

Nothing happened…nothing changed…nothing gave me the slightest hope that this was all a dream…a nightmare.

My parents sat down near me…they looked hopeless…defeated.
7amad…
………………………………………
Fajoor:

I entered the hospital room and sat down on a chair…waiting.

That’s all we could do…

All that was left was to wait…wait and pray.

I heard my mom collapsed Rakan made sure that the doctors did a complete check up on her…after that he got us something to eat. He’s been nothing but perfect. If I loved him before I love him even more…
………………………………………..
Dalal:

I waited as my parents looked up at me. They knew what I wanted…they knew…why aren’t they telling me?

Is he…dead?

“mama…7a..eh..7amad?”
“Daloola 7ayatee manbeech titkalemain ildoctor imwa9eena inich tirta7ain…”
“Daloolty 7amad..”

My mom interrupted him…why?! What is she hiding?!

“lazem ingoolha…*my mom had pleading eyes trying to change my Dad’s mind* 7amad…iho 7amad…7ayatee kilshay fil dinya 8atha2 o0 8adar…7amad”

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Dayoom:

I entered the hospital room and saw her looking at me with pleading eyes…she needs to know.

She needs to know that 7amad…might not make it.

She has the right to know.

I walked to her and she focused hard back on what my Dad was saying..

“7amad ib’3oraft il3amiliat…”

I sat on the bed next to her holding her hand.

“he died in the scene and they were able to resuscitate him in the ambulance…but he might not make it”

“A world renowned doctor has been flown here by his father and they’re doing the best they can…”

Shocked would be an understatement…she was so quiet staring into space…god knows what’s
going through her head.

3azooz walked in…

He had something to say but he didn’t know if Dalool knew anything yet.

“i5th ra7tik Daloola darat”

“inji7at il3amalia…they took him to the ICU for now”

For once a smile was finally painted on my face. We all sighed I looked back at Dalool to see if she’s ok.
“7a..7amad’s alive?”
“il7imdella”
“he’s in a coma...” she looked so lost…
“ya3nii he’s going to make it?”
“inshala only time will tell”
“but…he has to…please *tears*”

My mom sat on the bed and I moved over to my dad.

“Daloola 3ashany abeech tirta7ain…inshala 7amad mafee illa il3afia…ana lazem aroo7 ashoof 5altich haya…irta7ay”
“baroo7 ma3ach”
“mako…ildictor mani3 inich tit7arakain”
“mama please aby ashoof 7amad”
“he’s in the ICU no one’s allowed in there”

She left and we kept her company.

Visiting time was over so we had to return home…

My mom was the one sleeping over in the hospital for the last 3 nights.

“Yuma ana bag3ad 3ind Dalal ilyoom”

She knew how much I wanted this and so she agreed after I made a tiny fuss about how I need to do this.
………………………………………….

Dalal:

Later that night…around midnight:

I couldn’t just stay on my bed I had to see him…I have to!

“Dayoom…I need a favor…I’m asking you now as my sister and as my friend…”

After I pleaded with her… and I almost begged she agreed.
…………………………………………
Dayoom:

I couldn’t refuse…I know it’s something she would do for me…I just need help doing it.
She removed the small breathing tube near her nose.

I went up to her and helped her slowly off the bed…her bruises were extremely dark and they looked really painful.

I see the way she tries to hide how much pain she’s in…but not knowing could be a lot worse.
I made sure that her drip wasn’t tangled as she pulled it behind her…following me out the door.

We had to get past the nurses and some other families.

We got close to the ICU and there he was bent over helpless. I just don’t know what to do.

I haven’t talked to him since all this happened…I don’t want to make things worse.
“Dalal..5aled is in our way”
“You think I’m going to let him stop me…I just need to see him.”

I walked next to her towards the door.

“ Deema?... Dalal?! Shitsaween bara il’3orfa?”
“5aled..she..” he cut me short.
“Dalal riday il’3orfa il7een”
“5aled I just need to see him…”

5aled pulled my arm.

“what the hell is she doing out of her room?!” he whispered angrily.
“5aled! Let go off me…she just needs to do this”

He pulled me behind him further away from Dalal.

“min9ijich?! Itshoofa chithy? Ib hal 7ala?!”

I couldn’t speak to him…this is our first actual conversation since the accident.
“5aled”
“no…do you know what 7amad said right before he passed out in the ambulance?!”
I shook my head…tears were in my eyes.
“Dalal….he held my hand and said Dalal”

The picture of 7amad in the ambulance and just saying her name was repeating in my head…

“5aled…you think it’s easy watching her question if we’re telling her the truth that 7amad’s alive or if we’ve been trying to get her mind off him?! It’s not!”

“Deema! 7amad imwa9eeny 3alaiha…binridha il’3orfa il7een”

I nodded I was too afraid to disagree…we both looked back at her direction but she was gone…

“wainha?!!”
“I was with you!”
“let’s find her” we went towards the ICU…there she was…standing outside the glass door…her hand on the glass door looking at him.

I walked towards her…placed both my hands on her shoulders.

“Dalal…yalla we have to go back”
“just a few minutes more”

5aled was behind me.

After 15 mints I took her back.

I left the room to get me something to drink…I walked over to the machine and as I was about to place my coin.

“Deema”
“5aled? Shfeek?....7amad?!”
“mafee shay…he’s stable…I need to talk to you”
“about?”
“what happened…”

I grabbed my Miranda and followed him back to the seating place outside the ICU.
I sat but he was standing…I looked up confused.

“emm 5aled?”
“Deema makan ga9di a3a9eb 3alaich…”
“it’s fine”
“no it’s not…I’m sorry”

For the first time since the accident I sat with him…I stayed by his side.
In the end that was what he wanted...a friend...Possibly the person he loves next to him.
...................................................................

Dalal:

7amad is alive…that’s all that matters to me…he’s alive.
I just want my 7amad.

4 days later…

7amad was still in the ICU and my Doctor was poking me around…checking on everything! EVERYTHING!
I’m fine I just want 7amad to be fine as well.

The doctor left and the nurse entered…she knew how much he meant to me…so she kept me up to date on everything happening down there.
“when is 7amad going to be released? Or at least out of the ICU?”
“the doctors say maybe after 2-3 days…he’ll be strong enough to stay in a normal room like yours”
“so…he’s getting better?”
“yes…but we have to get you ready because the doctor says you can leave”
“oh?” never thought I would want to stay longer but…

It comforted me that I was in the same building as 7amad…and the idea of not being close to him hurts.

The doctors say that if he doesn’t wake up from this coma after the first 3 months it’s considered hopeless and impossible.

7amad please wake up….just open your eyes...
…………………………………………
Fajoor:

I haven’t seen Dalal and I feel so embarrassed about it…all this time I was in the hospital by my mother’s side and praying that 7amad gets out of his coma.

Not once have I seen her…the only hospital room I went to was 7amad’s…the one he’ll be moved to in the next few days if the doctors see that he’s strong enough.

Rakan…what can I say about this man?...no words in the world would suffice to just describe how much he means to me...

I hope 7amad wakes up…inshala…inshala igoom bisalama…

………………………………………………
Dalal:

7amad has been moved to his room and I was there even though I had to go through a debate between my mom and dad on how strong I was.

I stood outside his private room…hoping that a miracle might happen and I find him awake…
talking, laughing and well….i just want him to be well.

I took a deep breath and I walked in.
Everyone was there!!! EVERYONE! HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!

Fajoor jumped on me with a hug.
“I’m so sorry” she was sincere

Why is she saying that?

Did…did something happen to 7amad?!

“7amad?! Is he…?” I asked shocked and afraid
“he’s fine! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare dalool I meant…I’m sorry for not seeing you”

I hugged her again
“I guess you owe me” I joked

I let go of her only to see that everyone was staring at me.

“hathy illy yabeeha?” an old woman said…

My heart was pounding…what did she mean?

“Fajer I can’t stay here”
“yes you can you’re family”
“no it’s ok I just need to get some fresh air”

I was out in the hallway when the old lady came up to me.

I didn’t understand what’s going on.
“Dalal?” she asked
“hala”
“shlonich Yuma?”
“il7imdela”
“ana yadat 7amad” CRAP HIS GRANDMOTHER!

I smiled what was I suppose to do?
“ba’3aitich ibmaw’6oo3” I sat with her as she talked…about me and 7amad…
Of the things he told her about me. Tears escaped her eyes as did mine.

It showed how much she loved him.
She reminded me of my grandmother whom I lost many years ago…when Dayoom and I were around 11.

She was the caring type...the type you’re comforted by with a simple hug…
My grandmother used to give out one of a kind hugs…she meant the world to me.

I would give anything for one more day with her…and her comforting arms and warm chest.
7amad’s grandmother told me what he had planned for us. He was dead serious…god I can’t believe I just said “dead” serious…it slipped.

She told me how much she wanted to meet me and how she hated the circumstances on why we met.

She hugged me and left me with my thoughts.
7amad talked about me in front of his family? I don’t know how that makes me feel but right now

I just want him to walk up.
His army of guests left as I waited for the last person to leave the room I snuck in.

No one was there…just me and an unconscious 7amad.
I choked up when I laid my eyes on him and on all the machines they had him hooked up on. I didn’t get a good glimpse before but now.

Tears fell as I walked closer to him.

I sat on the chair slowly…fearing I might do something wrong.
I carefully slipped my hand into his…careful not hurt him.

“hi 7amad…it’s been a while…you know I miss you?....this is so stupid I can’t believe I’m doing this”

I took a deep breath…looking at his shut eyes, focusing on his rising chest and what good is talking to him?

I heard the door opening …
“it’s good to talk to him”

I turned and his father was standing there…we’re not that close since he’s always away on business.

“3amy?! Oh…sorry…em”
“Dalal…ana baroo7 ishwaya achayik 3ala 5altich Haya…talk to him 3ala ma ared?”

Why are they so open minded?! This isn’t normal at all…I’m his son’s best friend and I’m in-love with him.

Do they know that 7amad and I are more than friends?

I only once heard 5alty haya and my mom planning to marry us but that doesn’t mean they
know…ugh!...his grandmother knew could that mean they all know?...

What kind of girl do they think I am?! What if they think this is a normal thing with me…that I like to date boys?! This is too much!!!!
I stayed next to him and I traced his hand memorizing it.

“I forgot what your voice sounds like…*I couldn’t speak for a while* I met your grandmother…she was nice…she reminds me of mama 6aiba…my grandmother…she talked about you…well about us…it was a little embarrassing…you got me to blush…”

As I talked I heard a beeping sound I didn’t know what it was but I was scared.

“7amad don’t leave me…I’m here *holding his hand a little tighter* I’m not going anywhere…*tears*”
“haa? Shlon wildna?”
I wiped my tears quickly and turned to see him.

7amad looked a lot like his father…except he took the good features of 5alty Haya.
“3amy…kan fee a weird beeping sound misa3a”
“mita? Shlon ya3ni?”

He called the doctor and I explained it.
They looked puzzled.

“did you do anything?…touch anything?”
“no…I just talked to him”
“you…could you please talk to him right now?”
“em…what do you want me to say?” BEEP BEEP

I turned and the sound was back
“that’s the sound” BEEP
“those are his brainwaves…they’re responding to your voice”
“keep talking”
“ok? Emm…I don’t feel like doing anything…emm…I saw my sister with Fajoor down in the cafeteria with 5aled and Rakan….5alty Haya is with my mom..they’re drinking tea *beep*…you look a lot like your dad *beep*…I know I just noticed…emm…I don’t know what to say”

“it’s ok…this is very good it means that 7amad is getting better and the fact that he’s brain waves are responding is a great thing…but all we can do is wait..” they did some of the things that doctors do that I don’t really understand. After checking everything they left.
………………………………………..
One week later…

At times no one is around I’d go see him…talk to him…hearing the beeping sound was a comfort…a sign of hope.

He’s been in a coma for 2 weeks and 3 days…I need him. It might be selfish of me but I need him. I don’t want to lose him…I don’t.

“I saw this weird looking cat today…it totally freaked me out….it was white and short…with orange and brown spots in her fur...it5are3…she followed me and I made this scene…the things I did! Maskeen wa7id ta3bta bas agoola iwa5erha 3any…what else…oh…you know that place…that piece of land you’ve always wanted…it was up for sale and I think it’s sold…but you’ll find better…”

I stayed quiet…there are so many things I want to say… I was alone with him I should just say it.

“7amad…I need you…I need you in my life…and I want you to fight…I miss you…I ...I don’t want to forget…I don’t want to forget what your voice sounds like…or how many shades of brown your eyes have…or…the way you look at me….i don’t want to lose you…7amad…I love you”

My hand was in his…but for a split second I thought I felt him tighten his grip…

“7amad?...7a..*grip tightened*…omg! 7amad!”

My heart stopped beating and I focused on him… I told the nurse to call the doctor…
“7amad?...”

His family rushed into the room around his bed waiting…

“7amad?” 5alty haya called for him.

His eye lids slowly parted…revealing the shades of brown I missed.

My breathing was all over the place.

His eyes landed on mine…and his hand kept mine in his…I smiled.

Relief washed over me…7amad’s awake….am I dreaming?

The doctor checked on everything.

7amad kept his hand in mine and his eyes on mine.

“shlonich? *smiling softly*”he barely choked out…tears formed in my eyes… he asked about me!
I bent down to his ear…

“I’ve never been this happy…”

“7amad! Shlonik? Are you in pain?”
“7abeeby tabee shay?”
“5aloo ilwalad yitnafas”
“eee….ba3dain ana ba3ad 7abeebich”
“ishtabee ana bas 7abeebha”
“baskom! 7amad 7as ib shay?”
“excuse me…so 7amad…are you in any kind of pain?”
“no…”
“can you tell me the name of this young lady?” he pointed at Fajoor.
“Fajer…”
“how is she related to you?”
“she’s my sister”
“and this young woman” 5alty smiled when he called her young ;P
“my mom…Haya”
“and this gentleman?”
“my brother 5aled…he’s not a gentleman *softly laughing*”
“what about her?” pointing at me
“Daloolty…”
“how is she related to you?”
“I’m going to marry her” I blushed like hell…
…………………………………………………………………

7amad fully recovered after 1 month…I’ve never been so grateful.

He’s everything I need …and everything I ever wanted…

love was something I thought only existed in fairytales and stupid make believes…until 7amad came along.

My life might have been different if I haven’t met him but…I did…and for that I’m grateful…
……………………………………………………………………..

3 years later…

7amad and I are still together…we did go through some bumps on the road but we made it to the other side…

5aled and Dayoom got into a huge argument about marriage…it resulted in them breaking up for 4 months but they’re back together…which means that they’re meant to be…I think.

Bader got married…his wife is pregnant with their first child.

Fajoor is pregnant again!!! Il7imdela…her first pregnancy she suffered from a miscarriage but inshala this time they’re going to have baby. She’s almost 7 months pregnant…or is it 8? Rakan is on cloud 9 but he’s been over protective….it’s so cute…

Oh….that’s right…7amad and I are married…we’re also expecting our first child…it wasn’t planned it just happened…I blame 7amad really…if you know what I mean.
Nothing lies now but the future and what it might hold for us…I’m kind of freaking out about this baby and it’s just the first month but 7amad…well 7amad is ecstatic.

…………………………………………………

Part 74 :***

this is the pre-finale :**

love you all :****
..........................................

DALAL:

He walked towards me slowly…trying not to overwhelm me…
Everyone was starring at us…I don’t think my heart’s beating.

He was now just a step away….

“shgiltay?” he asked confused but quietly
“*breathing hastily*nothing”
“6l3aw bara” he ordered the rest to leave…

I turned to leave but he held my wrist stopping me.

“wain ray7a?...Dalal 3eeday ilgiltee” he asked softly.

This is scaring me. I’m not used to this…this is 7amad.

I looked up at his eyes with my teary hazelnut eyes…

A tear fell and one word escaped my mouth…a word I kept prisoner for so long.
“a7ibik” I then cried softly…he can tell that I was trying my best to stop crying.

“what took you so long? *pulling me closer*it’s about time”
“What are you saying? You hate me…you..eh…I don’t understand”

He leaned closer to my ears and whispered…

“I love you…I always have” tears fell. What does this mean?
“And Selma?!”
“ma bany aw bainha shay…”
“7amad…I…no no”
“shily no Dalal?”
“I’m not ready to take a risk…I’m not*crying*” he held me closer pulling me into his arms…I felt his warm embrace that I was deprived of…I missed it…I missed it a lot. I love him…I love him so much but what if…

My heart and mind have been through a lot lately I don’t think I can take it much longer…
“Dalal some risks are worth taking…and if you haven’t noticed I’m not a risk *lifting my head up with his hand*”

He leaned in and kissed me!! Yes he kissed me!!! This must be a dream…this isn’t real. I kissed him back…whenever he’s near me all my rational thinking goes away…whenever he’s near I’m under his mercy…his presence takes a hold on me like I had no control on anything.

I hate not being in control of my actions when I’m around him…but I always know I’m in good hands.

Our kiss turned into a make out session…can’t I kiss him for once and just enjoy an innocent sweet kiss from him?

My hands swung around his neck and he pulled me off the ground…kissing me softly and crushing me against his hard chest. It’s a feeling so powerful you can’t help but feel the magnified shivers running through my body.

After our endless make out sessions…

He held my hand and we walked along the beach…just the two of us. I hate that I’m blushing so much!

He looked at me with this cocky smile happy he was able to make me blush…I’ll show him!

“I’m not blushing! It’s really hot that’s all…”
“3alayna?”

I playfully hit his shoulder…I turned into a brighter shade of red.
We sat on the warm sand close to each other…his arm around me. Oh god I hope this isn’t a dream…please don’t be a dream.

“Dalal what took you so long?” he asked with sad big brown eyes…it kills me every time.
“It’s…complicated and stupid and it’s a really long story”
“I have time”

I told him…I told him how Dayoom and I thought we were falling for him…he was shocked at first because Dayoom and 5aled are together…I explained everything…told him my situation…I couldn’t look him in the eye when I was telling him…

“you killed me you know that” he made my guilt grow
“well…you did too” he turned me to face him.
“a7ibich…lo sh9eer many hadich mara thanya” I smiled…my 7amad is back…

No…I’m finally in his arms….I’m finally in the arms of the man I loved for so long. I feel safe…it just feels so right. I rested my head on his shoulders and he pulled me closer to him. I inhaled his deathly scent…I knew what I was doing was fatal…dangerous yet safe.

Taking risks can be something worthwhile yet he’s not a risk but he is…I don’t know how to say this but…I feel so safe yet powerless when I’m around him. The only thing at stake here is…us.

“a7ibich” he whispered.
“you better” nothing can go wrong now…

Everything turned out the way it ought to be…perfect.
Crap…what about Selma?

“7amad sh9ar 3ala selma?”
“*laughing softly*magdart at7amlha…I don’t know what pushed me towards her in the first place… *silence*”
“You wanted to hurt me”
He turned to look at me with his guilty eyes…
“I was mad at you…I hated not having you in my arms…I hated thinking you might be with another…I loved you and not having it back drove me crazy…I would do anything for you…you know that”
“same here” he kissed my forehead.




2 months later:

7amad and I are inseparable….we had a few parental warnings…we did get carried away at times not in that way but holding hands and snuggling…I’ve never been this happy…I’ve never lived this way. Every time I see him I find him hotter…it boils my skin! There’s a smile plastered in my face.

He’s going to be the death of me I just know it.

He has been nothing but a distraction…he’s all I think about…it’s driving me crazy and I can tell that it’s doing the same to him.


What’s bothering me is that I overheard my mom and 5alty Haya talking about me and 7amad…which is weird…it sounded like they were getting us ready for marriage which I am in no way or shape ready for.

I talked to 7amad about it and he admitted that he talked to his mom about us…which resulted in me blushing horribly…it’s so embarrassing!...

The girls and I are helping Fajoor and 5alty Haya for her milcha which is in a week.

One week later….

We all got dressed and ready for Fajoor’s milcha…
Fajoor was a mess…her state of mind was all over the place…I held back my laugh because I knew she was going to burst. She was really nervous and her hands won’t stop shaking…I wonder if I’ll be this nervous when 7amad and I…I shivered a bit…guess I’ll be as nervous as her.

Dayoom was extremely nervous as well…not in front of Fajoor of course but it looked like Dayoom was the one to get married not Fajoor…hehehe..

My girls look so funny when they’re nervous…but….they looked really really pretty…Fajoor was a showstopper hands down.

It showed that it was her day…

I was over at their house helping Fajoor…I knew the house was empty and 5alty haya galat na5th ra7tna.

So Dayoom and I walked around the house casually in our dresses…I like it…madree it was adventurous…


“i7mmm” Dayoom and I froze in place not daring to look back… I know that voice it’s my 7amad…I just know it…

“la la intay nawya 3ala shay” oh! 5aled!! I thought it was 7amad.


We looked back and there they were smoking HOT! Looking back at our bodies…5aled’s eyes were glued on Dayoom’s body…

I looked at 7amad and there he was checking me out…Dayoom ran up the stairs…she was always fast to respond…

I turned to run behind her…to cover up…but no….prince charming jumped on me…

Yes he did!!! He hugged me from behind hiding me and my exposed body from 5aled.

“5alood ithlef”
“shmi3na int ma3a il7abeeb oo ana wagef ibroo7y” I guess 5aled wanted Dayoom as well
“7amad!”
“ma7ad galik ithidha *referring to Dayoom* …yala imsh” he kept me hidden in his large frame. I think 5aled left but I heard him sigh…Dayoom’s so lucky she’s not in the situation I am…my face was burning up. You see my dress exposes my entire back.
“7amad!! Hidney!...omg!”
“ana bafham…intay shnawya?
“latshoof!”
“bit9eern 7alaly mala da3y hal kalam”
“7AMAAD! Wala wala 7amad…wela”
“I like it when you’re mad..”
“7AMAD! Hidny! This isn’t happening”
He held me tighter.
“laykoon chithy bitroo7een”
“omg….7amad hidny!”
“maney hadich…Dalal bitroo7een chithy?”
“no this is just my casual clothes….yes I’m going like this now let go!”
“maney hadich shbitsaween?” he asked slyly
“7amad please…hidney…oo latshoof! Wela I swear 7amad…*tightening his grip* ayy! 7amad 3awrtny”
“3ayara…btw mintay ray7a chithy”
“why?”
“a5af a7ad yin3jib feech”
“Omg! 7amad hidney…you realize mu 7ilwa itha a7ad dash 3alaina chithy…plus…you have to let go!!!…”

He laughed and he finally released his grip on me…only to check me out from head to bottom.

He placed his hands on his chest and pretended he was in pain.

“Don’t look!!” I quickly turned and I ran up the stairs to the girls… I could hear him laughing.
………………………………………….
One month later was the wedding…

We were all ready dressed to perfection…I was with Fajoor fixing her dress for the last time while her mom and aunts read prayers over her.

She tried to pretend that she was fine but she was worried and scared.

It was time for her to enter the huge ballroom.

I danced my ass off with Dayoom. We were having the time of life…celebrating Fajoor’s big day.

The DJ announced for us to cover up because the men were entering.

The doors opened and there walked in freshly shaved and trimmed guys…who looked pretty hot…one guy stood out the most and no it’s not the groom…it was my 7amad.

He looked at me with his soft smile…imsawy roo7a thgeel…well he is bas..he’s so cute…
I can’t believe Fajoor’s married…I just can’t.

Rakan looks really happy…I can tell this day means a lot to him.
…………………………………………………………………
Days later…

Fajoor was off on her honeymoon with Rakan…I was in his arms and Dayoom was in 5aled’s….guess it’s just us now until she returns.
……………………………………………………

In one year I’ve experienced something most people don’t…

I almost fell in-love and I almost believed I could get over 7amad …

But I got played…well I might add….

Lost the people I loved and trusted the most….

Suffered unbearable pain…

Experienced emptiness…a feeling no one should ever go through…

Gained my loved ones all back ….

Fought for my guy….

And in the end….I got him.

Witnessed my close friend get married to the man of her dreams.

I hate to admit but I was in-love with 7amad from the beginning…

I wanted to save our close friendship when the truth of the matter is…our friendship was a lie….a cover to what we kept hidden.

What we wanted…each other.

Saying that I’m 7amad’s is surreal…sneaking out to see him gives me butterflies…kissing him takes my breath away…

One day…just this day...

He pulled me of the ground and swirled me around.
“7amad wela 5ara3tny! You can’t do this!”
“kayfeee!” I laughed he’s insane
“let’s go… you’re coming with me…” he held my hand and took control.
I got into his car and we drove around…no particular direction just a drive.
“shlonich?”
“I just told you on the phone 10 mints ago”
“3ady 3asher degayeg wayed” I laughed
“well…you’ll be happy to know that I’m in-love with this guy” he turned to look at me surprised…mastaw3ab ina the guy is him…hehehe I’m going to keep this up…
“he’s really handsome and tall…and *sigh I bit my bottom lip* he’s a terrible driver”
“laykoon ana”
“no no…don’t worry he drives better than you”
“Dalal!”
“ok ok it’s you…*laughing*”

He took me to this beautiful restaurant where we met up with EVERYONE…yes yes everyone…my mom,5alty haya, Rakan’s mom, the newlyweds,5aled, Dayoom, Rakan’s brothers and sisters, some people I’ve never seen…so basically everyone.

It was one of the best days I’ve spent.

7amad was next to me and he kept whispering in my ear making me laugh…

I LOVE HIM!!!

There he is right next to me holding my hand under the table….the one I was lucky enough to end up with…lucky enough to have met him.

He’s everything I ever wanted…EVERYTHING.

He’s my dream come true…a tear filled my eyes…this is so not like me…I’m very emotional I don’t know why…

Every time I look back at him I feel like it’s the last time.

Every time he smiles I memorize it…I have this heavy feeling something’s not right…like something bad is going to happen.
“Daloolty shfeech?” he whispered
“I don’t know…I..I just have this bad feeling”
“t3aw’6ay min iblees 7ayatee mafeena ila il3afya”
“you’re right”

I ignored my feelings and placed them in the back of my mind.

The night ended and we all left towards our cars…I was going to ride back with my mom but 7amad wouldn’t let me…so I went with him.

We were at a red light waiting for it to open…he was telling me about this guy he knows who got married recently to an 18 year old…I’m not sure what he’s hinting…but if it’s marriage no way…I don’t know…maybe I’ll say yes….who knows.

The red light turned green and this sore feeling in my stomach came back…as 7amad passed the green light all I heard was a loud honk.

BBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP

Both our heads spun to 7amad’s side and a blazing light was coming our way… his head turned to face me…his eyes worried.













I opened my eyes to find myself attached to my chair by the seatbelt…it was the only thing holding me up….everything was out of focus and it was all a mute.

Right in front of me was 7amad lying on the ground…his head next to his steering wheel facing me…he was having a hard time breathing…and I couldn’t move a muscle….I was dangling and all I could do was stare at 7amad.

Is he ok? I was numb…I couldn’t feel anything yet I couldn’t move…

His eyes turned to look at me…everything was fuzzy…it wasn’t clear.

His eyes focused on mine…his face was bloody…this isn’t happening

This can’t happen…no…no this can’t..

“7a..ehhh” I couldn’t …

He was in pain I can tell…slowly voices were hearable and I could hear his pain…his soft moans.

His eyes were never off me…mine focused back on him…

His shirt was red….why is his shirt red?...it was white….no…no…


He kept trying to breath and I felt tired…I couldn’t keep my eyes open but I had to…I’m not going to let him go…I’m not.

He lifted his hand slightly reaching for my face…he slightly touched my chin…I kept my eyes on his hand…but it fell…

It dropped to the floor…I looked up and he was still looking back at me…his eyes focusing on me…his features frozen…what’s happening?

Why…why isn’t he moving?...I can’t hear his moans…why isn’t he breathing?

“7ama…”

His eyes were lifeless…his chest wasn’t rising anymore…no..no...

Everything went black after that….

Part 73 :***

dedicated to u all :***
....................................

DALAL:

“7AMAD!”
His head spun around…slightly fearful and shocked…he probably thinks something bad has happened.
“Dalal?”
“*breathing heavily* I….need…to…talk…to…you” my heart was racing…not from the run…but from what I’m about to say...

He kept his eyes directly on mine…he looks like he was deciphering a code or something…trying to figure me out..

My breathing was a bit difficult but I survived…I hope I survive this…

As I calmed down and I looked up at his gorgeous eyes…every word I was going to say disappeared…everything I had in mind went down the drain…all I did was stare back at him…with an open mouth trying to say something but…I couldn’t.

At that exact moment I realized something I didn’t…7amad was a risk…what if he breaks my heart again?

What if he leaves me? I slowly died the last 6 weeks….and we were just friends…what happens if
I let him in and in return he leaves me? What if I get hurt....I won’t be able to get back up if he ever did that….

What if I end up like all the other girls he dated? Dumped and alone…
What if I’m just like all the other girls he dated?!! What if I was a phase? Something stupid…what if he realizes I’m not the one? It’s a huge risk for me to take…far too huge…

Maybe not being together is better…I’ll get over this…or at least I can fake it….but if I was truly with him and we decided to break up…I’ll shatter easily…no way back.

“Dalal?” his voice meant business…like I was a stranger…in the end I am.
“Yeah…*unclear voice*..aa..”
“3asa masher?”

I shook my head…is he still good at reading me? I hope I make it through this.

“I…I think I forgot something in your car…emm my CD…and…7imdela 3ala salama”
“ala esalmich”

He looked disappointed but he hid it well…not good enough I say.

He went to his car and he started searching…

That pain in my chest I had weeks ago was back…

There he is right in front of me…why can’t I just tell him and get it over with…isn’t getting my heart broken worth the fall?

No…no…this is stupid…I am not thinking straight…7amad and I are not supposed to be together we’ll just be a mistake…none of the other girls he went out with lasted a month…not even 3 weeks! Is a ride that short worth damaging my already fragile heart?

“Dalal? Maligata”

I mean what if I was the one to call it quits? What if I break his heart?...i don’t want to be that person in the relationship….what if I make him suffer more than he is…or probably was since he’s done with me now…I think.

And what gives me the right to go up to him and just say I love you?! After all this time? After he was done with me or anything that reminded him of me?
I can’t think about me it’s us…

“Dalal?”

*I love you…I’m so sorry…* I said it to him in my thoughts…I wasn’t that brave.

“Thanks any way”

I turned to leave

“That’s not what you wanted”

“What?” I half turned to see him….SHIT HE’S GOOD!

“That’s not the reason…you ok?”

“*fake smile* yeah...” I turned to leave but I looked back again

“actually no…no I’m not fine…I’m nowhere near it…you left …*shrugged my shoulders* you just cut me out…you know what forget it” I turned and took a few steps towards their door.

What the hell just happened? I can’t believe I said that…

“I had my reasons” he yelled behind

“What are they?!!...what reasons could just let you do that?!!!” I turned around to face him…surprised that he was closer to me than before…he was a few steps away.

“I can’t do this…Dalal…I’m not going down this road again…I’m over it and you should be too”

“ov..over it?..*trying to breathe* well then it shouldn’t be a problem if we hanged out…right?” It didn’t hit me that he could be over it….over it?!

We were an it?! That he just magically got over?!

“Our lives are different now…I have my thing and you have yours…the past is the past…it’s for the best”

FOR THE BEST?! U ASS I LOVE U!!!

“I’M NOT ONE OF UR STUPID GIRLS THAT U CAN JUST THROW AWAY!!! I AM NOT THAT GIRL!”

“DALAL!”

“I’m sorry…I have to go” I rushed back as soon as I was behind the doors I wept…softly and
quietly…once I noticed I was alone I cried…

I could hear footsteps running down the stairs…it’s Fajoor.
She had a huge smile but it faded away as soon as she saw me and my tears.

“what did he say?”
“he’s over it” I barely whispered

She was shocked as hell…

“you told him you loved him and he said he was over it?”

I explained the entire thing to her and she was speechless…what was she going to do about it? I mean the guy I love is over me…

I meant to him as much as those stupid annoying girls that drove me jealous meant.

I was nothing…why did I think I was more? He probably opens up to them the way he does to me.

1 week later in the chalet:

7amad was out in the beach with his phone on his ear…I can tell it’s a girl…I always can tell.

This pain is driving me crazy…it’s like this void that replaced the warmth I used to have…the warmth 7amad created and now it’s all gone.
I was on my side of the beach with the girls…5aled and Dayoom are back together, Rakan and his mom went over and they hit it off…5alty Haya was in-love with them. The only thing missing is him.

As selfish as this may seem…but why do they get their dream guys…and I don’t?
Why is mine over me that easily? I knew it…I just knew I wasn’t what he really wanted…he probably just did what he did to help me with my yousef problem…he knew I was over him…but maybe he thought I needed something to pull me off the ground…the thing is I was never on the ground…I am now.

The only guy I thought would never in a million years hurt me…hurt me the most…
Trusting is something you gain…and I was foolish back then. I was naïve to think that this is a perfect world and everything will work out…it never does…not in the real world.

Dayoom and Fajoor urged me to tell him the truth no matter what…just to let it out…they say I should just say it and if he’s over it then nothing’s going to change…I’ll still be 7amadless…but if he’s still…if he’s still in-love with me…then it could be the start of something new…something amazing…am I ready for it?

But…what about all the things that come to play? Like…what if we break up? What if I get so damaged and broken no one’s ever going to want me? I hate thinking about others but…that’s what I’m going to face someday might as well face it now.

What if I do end up with someone else? Or worse what if he ends up with another?!!
As I looked at him having the time of his life on the phone laughing and smiling to this girl…she could be the one…the girl on the other side could be lucky enough to end up with him.

Numbingly a tear fell…a tear of goodbye…that chapter we had is closed…he closed it…and I’m
not about to open it.

Later that afternoon…I wanted to just go somewhere for fun…a place I can just roam and wander carelessly…I wanted to drive.

I grabbed my dad’s keys and walked out in the blinding sun towards the cars…no one was
around…that was what I thought until I heard laughter…that annoying voice…I know it…I know it..
I looked back and I was right…Selma…what?!!

WHAT?!!! NO NO NO THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!

They were holding hands! Together….wait what is going on?!

Fajoor and Dayoom were with them…laughing.

This has to be a nightmare…this has to be. Fajoor and Dayoom saw me and their smiles disappeared….that made 7amad and that stupid ass look my way. CRAP!

She snuggled closer to him...only shredding my heart to pieces…no biggie right?

I chose this…this is my fault…

BUT SELMA?!!! SELMA?!! WHAT SUDDENLY THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE?!

He knew how much I disliked her…I HATED HER…NO I HATE HER!!!
That’s my fiancé ;(

I quickly got in the car and I just paused…I can’t drive it…not in front of them…I’m not qualified yet blah blah blah…whatever…I jumped out and went back into the chalet.

I went up to my room to sulk a bit…I could use it I think.

The girls came up.

I had a tiny argument with them…WHY THE HELL WERE THEY WITH HER?!!

They tried to explain that 7amad wanted to introduce his…yes…his girlfriend to them…
I kicked them out and cried myself to sleep.

He’s over it!! I knew I was just a stupid crush...another girl in his life…just a stupid worthless person in his life.

I woke up in the middle of the night and I made my way out to the beach…it reminds me of Yousef…I don’t care it was mine before it was ours…

After a few minutes I saw a figure approaching me….BADER!!!

This smile painted my face and he winked at me…he’s funny.

“laish il7ilween ibroo7hom?”
“madree *laughing*”
“ga3ad atkalam 3an nafsy”
“ahaa….ok ok have a seat beauty next to the beast”

He laughed softly and sat next to me.

“Everything’s fine?”
“um…I think”
“no no…it’s either yes or no”
“no”
“wanna talk about it?”
“look…it’s not that I don’t want to talk about it…I mean…I…emm” SHIT!
“you don’t trust me?”
“Bader…it’s not…yeah…I kind of learned that lesson the hard way and I just…I no longer trust easily”
“Whoa…one tough lesson…but you should know I’m here *bumping his shoulder against mine*…now talk”
“is that an order? *smiling at him*”
“yes beast it is”

I told him…stupidly I told him how I felt about 7amad…how I was trying to get over him…how he is over me….i thought he was going to judge me…or say something horrible to me but…he didn’t…he was supportive.

“What the hell are you doing here?! Go to him”
“maynoon? I can’t he’s over me! He’s with Selma now!”
“lazem itgooleenla”
“shloon?! Bader I can’t…I just can’t…”
“nothing is going to change unless you change it…Dalal I’ll be a pain in ur ass unless you tell him”
“Bader be serious!”
“I AM!...if I was him…I would give anything to hear that from a person I love…*looking away*”
“you ok?...is there something you want to talk about?”
“it’s in the past”
“no no no you don’t get to say that! I was forced by you…now I’m forcing you….tell me”
“…..*silence*…she’s with someone else…she’s in-love I can see that”
“I’m sorry…but you’ll find better...i just know it”
“no…she was it…she was the best…all aspects…good name, great family, sweet, unbelievably beautiful, caring and she’s everything I ever wanted…but I wasn’t as fast to let her know it…don’t make that same mistake”
“I won’t…and bader…as much as I hate to admit it…you’re great…in all aspects…trust me you’ll find who makes you even happier…or at least happy *smiling goofily*” he smiled his cute smile.
“yeah yeah…so tomorrow?”
“what?”
“you’re telling him tomorrow”
“baaaaderrr”
“mako..bacher bitgolleenla…”
“fine!”
“salamay 3ala Deema…shlonha?”
“She’s good…” there was this look in his eyes…OMG!!! IT’S DAYOOOM?!! HE WAS TALKING ABOUT DAYOOOM!!!!

“oh…oh my god…it’s Deema?!!!!”

He was quiet and looking back with pleading eyes.

“but…she’s…”
“I know”
“and…you’re”
“yeah”
“crap” he laughed…I guess I was funny to him…my sister broke his heart!...ugh!! it kills me!
Dayoom was the one for him am I going to end up like him? Not everyone gets their other halves…am I one of them?

“it’s in the past Dalal…better live with it” he joked
“so is my situation so I should live with it too”
“no…it’s not over until I say it’s over” I laughed he was in control of my future with 7amad.
“I’ve always wanted to say that” he laughed even more and I couldn’t help but join.

He got up and pulled me up with him.

“it’s better than wondering what could’ve happened” he whispered in my ear.
He’s right…I’ll never let this go unless I tell him…

Another week passed…

He’s been avoiding me! Every time I look at him he looks the other way…when I walk towards him he finds a quick way to get away…just the sight of me makes him run! How the hell am I supposed to tell him if he won’t stop to talk?

He’s never home…he’s never around at times I am…at the chalet he’s with HER! Ugh!!
This is hopeless…Bader has seriously been a pain and amazingly so have the girls…it’s like they were a team…pushing me towards 7amad.

It hurts when I see him walk away….when I see him pretend I wasn’t even there…when he acts like I’m just a stranger…he just erased me…just as simple as that….wish it was that easy.
Why the hell do we have these stupid things called emotions and feelings?!
I see him look my way and he’ll just look away…walk away…it’s as if I was repulsive…I was
something he just couldn’t look at or talk to…I hate it…I hate this.

It’s driving me crazy but I’m not giving up until I let it all out…I owe myself that much…to get it off my shoulder and what he does with it is up to him…but I won’t carry it alone.
I tried and tried and tried…I never get a chance to talk to him…he’s never around…and when he is…she’s with him…UGH! For the entire week I was trying to catch him but he keeps slipping away!

At 6 pm I got a msg from 7amad…
Meet me at the X near the beach…just you…I’m waiting.

I know where it is…it’s a far walk but it’s along the beach…away from all the chalets….
I went there…after 20 mints of walking I finally reached it….but he wasn’t there…I could see a black wanayt but that was it…

There were the huge black rocks that reached into the water…the sea.
I decided to climb them until he arrives…I was bored so I sat with my back behind the black rock and stared at the wide open sea.

I was going to go back until that stupid laughter was hearable….ugh!!!
What the hell is she doing here?

I got up and they both paused surprised. HE ASKED ME TO COME AND NOW HE’S SURPRISED?!

I walked back to them and Selma enjoyed this…she looked like she knew I was going to be here….he wanted me alone and he brings her? He on the other hand looked really confused….he’s probably forgotten what I looked like with all the avoiding plans he was in.

“oh…Dalal?” she asked with that stupid annoying voice of hers. She was holding 7amad’s hand.
“sula! Hey” hehhehe it drives her crazy…
“it’s Selma…shitsaween ihny?” I looked back at 7amad who was looking to side….AM I THAT REPULSIVE?!!! U ASKED ME TO COME HERE AND U WON’T LOOK AT ME?!
“ha?...I”
“laykoon na6ra a7aad” she said it in a dirty way…she made seem like I was waiting for a guy…that B****!
“an mu mithl ba3’6 ilnas lat5afeen…I’m here for a walk”
“shga9dich bihal kalam?”
“salamtich…tamreen 3ala shay I have to go”
“ee…*snuggling closer to 7amad* mu hatha 5a6eebich?...*she started to laugh* you can see he’s with me now”
“omg…that’s the greatest news ever!...how far along are you?” I asked cheerfully.
“na3am?”
“how far along are you with your pregnancy? ‘cause it’s the only logical reason for anyone to be with you”
“i7tarmay nafsich”
“make me”
“7amad!” she turned to her rescuer
“Dalal…mala da3y itgooleen halkalam jidamy”
“next time…if you want to talk make sure you don’t bring her with you”

He turned to look at me with a confused look but he was angry. I was too…I was losing it!

“shga9dich?”
“why are acting like you know nothing?!!”
“Dalal…mally 5ilg inlif windor…shyaybich ihnee?”
“7abeeby kaber 3aglik…hathy yahel matifham”

It just pissed me off so I walked away. I went back…but before I did she called for me.
I looked back and that…that…ugh!!! She kissed him!

He pushed her away but they kissed on the cheek but still i7mara!!!. As soon as I reached the chalet I cried.

I called bader…I don’t know why but I just needed him.

“*crying* Bader?”
“Daloolty!! Shfeech?!!”
“are *sniff* you busy?’
“not for you”
“let’s go somewhere *sobs*”
“tamreen…yala I’m coming”
His car was out and I ran to him.
………………………………
Dayoom:

7amad and that…ugh! SELMA are back. I hate that I have to pretend like I like her! 7amad pleaded that I be nice to her…that was supposed to be my sister…Dalal was supposed to be in 7amad’s arms not HER!

As they closed the huge gap between us…it was the four of us. Me,Fajoor and the stupid couple.
“wee…gitlik 3indha 9a7b”

We turned to see Dalool rush to a car…I’ve never seen that car before.no wait I think I saw it before…but where?

7amad was disgusted…

“i7tarmay nafsich Selma hathy i5ty”
“Selma you have no right to say that about her”
“she’s riding in a car with another guy…and I have no right?...i9eerlkom?”
“yes…he’s my cousin” I lied
“oh”

She walked away towards the beach and left the three of us alone.

“hatha mu wild 3amich Deema” 7amad said angrily
“7amad drop it” Fajoor stood up for us again
“il bnaya tamshee wit ta3arf?!! Wain ga3deen?!! Hathy mu bint”

SMACK!!!!

“i7trim nafsik! 6a3 minyitakalam…yayibha jidam Dalal…no no…jidamana kilna witgool ina Dalal mu bint?!! 3ayal illy ma3ak shino?!...” I was still shaking furiously…Fajoor had to hold me on both sides. My hand was trembling.

7amad’s cheek was slightly pink…as if I didn’t just slap him.
Fajoor walked me back to the chalet and sat me down.

“baradtay galbee” I loved that she was on my side.

I just need to know where she was going…and with whom?!

“here” handing a bottle of cold water to me.
“you realize he was jealous…7amad would never say that about Dalal…asasan mayir’6a a7ad igool shay 3anha…he’s jealous and that only means one thing”

“he’s not over her” she nodded.
……………………………………………
Dalal:

I cried and told him everything and in return he cursed and yelled foul language…it made me smile ‘cause he was really funny.

“I see you smiling”
“thanks to someone”
“I think I know that someone…handsome?”
“mmm very..”
“good looking?”
“mhmm” I agreed
“intelligent”
“makes everyone around him look stupid”
“aha so it’s a he?”
“very manly”
“*laughing* walla mu 9a7ya”
“thanks to you”
He took me back and I felt a lot better…
“you have to tell him!” he yelled
“shhh!*waving my hands insanely trying to shut him up*”

I explained everything to the girls but they looked like they were hiding something.
“shfeekom?”
“you have to tell him”
“what is it with you guys and telling him? HE DOESN’T WANT ME!”

I walked up the stairs and I was really upset but they must be right…if all three of them think I should tell 7amad then I should.

After a few days…

I tried to find him to talk to him…it’s always the same…he’s asleep…he’s out…he’s not here...he’s sleeping over at a cousins chalet…he’s not coming…or they’ll simply just say “I don’t know”…it’s like I was looking for a missing person…like catching smoke….capturing a ghost….hopeless…

It just pushed me to my limits this isn’t normal!!
Bader and the girls kept up the annoying pushing and encouraging talk to do it.
HOW CAN I IF HE’S NOT AROUND?!

Soft tears fell…

I was sitting on the bay watching the dangerous black sea.

It was 4:35 am…his parents aren’t home…Fajoor’s over at our place and 5aled and 7amad are the only ones in the chalet…in his chalet.

it’s better than wondering what could’ve happened… bader’s words kept repeating in my head..

Sometimes risks are worth taking…

You’ll never have peace unless you let him know….

Dalal it’s the only thing you can do…he’s worth it.

Sometimes the greatest things in life are risks…

Their words kept playing…I need him…I want him…I know that..but he doesn’t….how the hell am I ever going to tell him if he’s never around?!

Their words just pushed me to my limits…there was this smile in my face..

I knew it’s what I have to do.

I ran to them…I ran to his chalet…

I don’t care I’m telling him the truth…no matter what…

I opened the door and walked up the stairs quietly….no one was around all I could hear was my heart beating strongly.

I stood out his door…I made it this far…I’m not going back.

THIS IS CRAZY!!! IT’S 4 IN THE FREAKIN’ MORNING!

I barged in and there he was on his bed…shirtless….he was up to my surprise…I thought I was going to have to wake him up .

He was hunching with his back to me…his back alone was a distraction.
He quickly turned to face me.

Shocked was an understatement.

I smiled…

“Dalal?”
“I’m sorry but you’re never around and I have something to say…*smiling*…this isn’t working for me…it’s…it’s not what I had in mind I want my friend back”
“Dalal”
“7amad I can’t do this…I don’t want to lose you..*smiling* I..I”

FFFFFLLLLLLUUUUUUSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I stood where I was paralyzed…his bathroom just flushed…what? does it always do that on its own?...

There walks out my living nightmare…Selma…she was almost naked...in nothing but a short silky dress..

My smile faded and I looked back at him…there was this enourmous pressure on my chest and I was getting really hot…

“I’m sorry” I stepped back
“I’m so sorry” I bumped into his table and his pile of CDs fell to the floor.
I quickly picked them up and I placed them back on the table…
Selma was enjoying the show once again…

“I’m sorry…I’m really sorry” I kept stepping back until I hit his door nob.
I turned and I left….i ran out and I ran as fast as I could to my chalet.

Omg! I felt my arms go numb and my legs gave up on me.
I was in front of our front door…trying to breath…he’s with her now.

Omg….

“Dalal” I turned and there he was shirtless but he wore his t-shirt fast.
“I’m sorry” I didn’t know what to say but this unbearable pain in my chest wasn’t going away…it seemed to only grow bigger and spread out more.

“it’s not what you think…you know what I don’t have to explain anything to you!”

“7amad” I was shocked he never spoke to me that way

“NO…I don’t… If I could take the last 4 years back I would!”

If I could take the last 4 years back I would.

“you mean nothing to me!”

You mean nothing to me!

“akrihich! Tism3eeny AKRIHICH!”

All my sense of balance went away

It took me all the energy I had to turn and open the front door.
It took me a while but I was behind the door now…as soon as I closed it I collapsed on the floor…I cried…I cried insanely….

You mean nothing to me!
If I could take the last 4 years back I would
AKRIHICH!

He hates me….

You mean nothing to me!
If I could take the last 4 years back I would
AKRIHICH!

.................................................
Dayoom:

Fajoor and I raced down to grab the first pancake when we saw her…on the floor behind the door.

“DALAAAAL!” we ran to her…but she was in her own world…lost in her thoughts
“Dalal?” Fajoor called her softly

Her lips twitched repeating something but it wasn’t hearable…

“let’s carry her up to her room” I nodded
“he’s……………*shaking her head*……….gone”
“who is? Daloola 7abebty tell me what’s wrong”
“it’s……..ov….ov…..over” we knew right then and there that 7amad did this to her.

I was going to say something but the look from Fajoor’s eyes shut me up.

“he’s….he….I….I want to go home….take me home….TAKE ME HOME!!!”
“ok ok”
“TAKE ME HOME!”

She was yelling uncontrollably

“ok Dalool we’re going now yalla…”

We walked her out to the car…we had to hold her up just to walk.
I drove back home…she was quiet …extremely quiet.

“he…” I’m concentrating all my thoughts on her
“he hates me”
“no”
“HE HATES ME!” she scared me…I can’t talk to her…I was here to listen and agree.
“it’s fine…I hate him too”
“you don’t mean that”
“I hate him so much…I wish I never met him…I want my 4 years back! it’s not just him”
“he said that?”
“I want it too!”
“Dalool you don’t mean it”
“yes I do…I hate him…akirha!” she’s not in the mood to talk to her.

2 weeks later...

7amad crushed her….she’s really different…always on her own…avoiding everyone.
I hate him too…this is not like her…he turned her into this person…she’s never around.
We were in the chalet again and she wasn’t around…she walked along the beach an hour ago.
………………………………………
Dalal:
His words burned me…I would give anything if I could just erase what happened…if I could just not hear that.

You mean nothing to me!
If I could take the last 4 years back I would
AKRIHICH!

His words have been with me as if it was just yesterday.
I took my clothes off and walked into the water in my bikini.
I never swam in the beach in my bikini and I don’t care anymore.
I was nowhere near the chalets and I need to relax.
I walked back all wet and they were all out staring at me.

WHAT THEY NEVER SAW A GIRL WET BEFORE?!!!

I went up to my room, changed and watched a movie alone.
…………………………………………………
The intervention…

The girls set me straight…told me they were worried and they hated how far I’ve become. It was true but I needed it…I just got my heart broken before I even told him…it’s like I’m never ever going to tell him.

I was in Fajoor’s chalet while they talked to me.
“you have to tell him…I know you hate hearing this but he has to know”
“HE HATES ME!”
“no he doesn’t” 5aled walked in
“he loves you…and I should know since I’ve been with him on this stupid ride”
“5aled” I sighed
“no…he’s settling on Selma…he doesn’t love her…I know my brother…he loves you…plus haven’t you heard….they had a fight…”
“A big one”
“just a few days ago”
“what’s that supposed to mean?...guys this topic is over…don’t bring it up”
“Dalal lat9eereen i7mara and tell him how you feel!”
“what do you want me to say?....hey 7amad remember that time I told you I didn’t love you…guess what I lied…I’ve always been in-love with you?..come on! He’s over it…it was nothing…”

their eyes were focusing on something behind me….

I froze I knew who it was…..their eyes told me.

I turned slowly and saw him standing there looking back at me….my heart stopped beating, my lungs stopped working and my tongue paralyzed.
He walked towards me slowly…all I kept hearing was his last words to me…

You mean nothing to me!
If I could take the last 4 years back I would
AKRIHICH!

Part 72 ;***

Dayoom:

The next day…

We woke up with this half smile on our faces…partly happy that we’ve set things straight and then reality hit us like a truck. We both were missing the other half of the equation. We got dressed and headed out ta’3yeer jaw…we both needed it.

I was missing 5aled…his words carved me out like a knife…why’d he say that?! he made me feel like I was…I was…I don’t know but I didn’t like it….he made me look like I was the bad one…madree I felt chiny mu mitrabya! I hate that! A girl should get married when the right guy comes along and I keep rejecting him!

I don’t know who I am anymore…it’s like I just lost complete sense of what I’m like… I was the fearful one…the kind one…I wasn’t so…so…UGH! I don’t know but I don’t like what I’ve become…

I keep hurting the people I love…and I don’t understand why…I shut Dalool out of my life and made her go through what can only be described as pure torture….I keep refusing 5aled and I see how much that hurts him in his eyes….Fajoor…well…I’m just not as close to her…not like she was with Dalool…sure it changed after they cut her out of their lives…but I feel like she has something to hide…like she’s dying to tell me something but is afraid to…7amad…what can I say about him? He’s never around…he’s out all the time…always on his own…I think he’s not taking it well…it just makes it so obvious that he truly cares about Dalool.

I hate what I did…I could have made things right a long time ago…I could’ve let them be together…I was the reason they’re time together was cut short.
This isn’t me…it’s not…it can’t be…why do I keep hurting them?

“Hey! We’re here to breathe and to try and relax nothing more!” I giggled she knew me well enough.
“you’re right…”

I parked the car in a coffee shop and we both entered.

It was completely empty except for two couples… we took our drinks and we sat down in a comfy sofa.

We talked and it’s weird it was like nothing happened…like these three weeks never existed…it made my guilt grow…how could I?!!! How could I have done what I did to her and here she is making me feel better?

“hey!! Cham marra agoolich we’re here to chilax…now chilax”

My tears fell…I just couldn’t.

“haay” she said so softly
“I’m so sorry…wala Dalal I feel like crap for doing what I did…I don’t deserve this…any of it…not you or 5aled”
“Dayoom…*looking up at her*chub”

I smiled that girl seriously is never going to change

“awal shay…I know that you’re sorry and I forgive you…ba3dain it’s in the past and we’re on a new page”
“I love you walla I do”
“yeah?! Hehehe hmmm…oh yeah…I love you too!”

We were quiet after that…enjoying the time we have together and making up for lost time….


One week later…

Still no word from 5aled…I miss him so much..I hate this…I want to hate him so bad but I can’t…I LOVE HIM!! UGH!

For the entire week I’ve been pushing Dalal to go to 7amad to tell him the truth but she’s too stubborn!!

A month passed since the kiss between her and 7amad and I don’t think she can face him…she wants to I can see it in her eyes but she’s holding herself back. it’s been a month since she last talked to him..she has to do something.
“I think we should call Fajoor” her face went pale white..
“why? Emm Dayoom yimken..ya3ni..Fajoor wouldn’t want to see me”
“no…maybe you’re right…but she’ll see me…ba3dain we need to get you and 7amad together” she started tearing up…

No matter what…if it’s the last thing I do…7amad and Dalal are going to be together.
It’s clear now what I should do to make it up to her…get 7amad back…they’re meant to be.

I called Fajoor and she was on her way…I didn’t tell her that Dalool was with me…

After 15 mints Fajoor walked in…she stopped at first when her eyes landed on Dalal but then she kept coming towards us.

“hey”
“hi”

Dalool was quiet…I can tell this was uncomfortable for the both of them. Their eyes betrayed them…it showed how much they missed each other… But we have a lot of things to say and it involves both her brothers…

I tried to explain as best I could the reason why Dalal rejected 7amad. Fajoor’s jaw literally dropped.

“you mean you two were..emm..in-love with 7amad?” we nodded.
“well I thought I was…I’m not…I don’t think I ever was…I guess I was in-love with the idea of 7amad…the thought of having someone…but I didn’t really differentiate between the two…however Dalal actually Loves him”
“but you…em..you turned him down because you thought Dayoom had feelings for 7amad?” Dalool nodded…I can tell that Dalool was overwhelmed.
“emm…but when you found out that Dayoom doesn’t have feelings for 7amad why didn’t you go to him?”
“I found out last week”
“WHAT?!!!” her head spun around to face me.
Crap…I should get used to this by now
“I was mad at her!!! When I found out they kissed I thought she chose 7amad over me….she didn’t know I was over him…or that I was never really into him but still…she thought I was in-love with your brother and she kissed him…and I don’t know I lost it!”
Fajoor was quiet trying to digest everything she’s hearing.
“For three weeks??!”
“I said I lost it!! And I’m really really sorry Dalool walla if I can take it all back I would”
“ok so you didn’t turn him down because you thought he wasn’t good enough?”
“NO! Fajoor I love him and I had to say things I didn’t mean to get him to believe that I don’t see him in that way when all this time that’s all I’ve ever seen him in…”
“ok this really is a bit of a sensitive topic since the guy you like is my brother but…ugh! Dalool you destroyed him…for a month!…for four long weeks he’s been strange…distant…very quiet and he travelled a lot…he never brings you up and we can’t bring you up in front of him…nor mention your name…and..and..and I can’t believe I shut you out!! I can’t believe I never gave you the chance to explain…I just pushed you out…removed you from my life….and *tears* all this time you were the victim…I’m sorry…I’m really sorry”

Fajoor and Dalool hugged and of course I started tearing up just by the sight of it…

“I’m sorry too for not telling you…I just didn’t know what to do”
“Then we’re going to have to fix this”

I checked my phone and…nothing…why was I hoping for something…he made it clear he wants nothing to do with me unless I was officially his. I didn’t think a morning message from him had this much impact on me…I want him back…I do.

“I can’t” we both turned to face her.
“I just can’t…what if I’m not what he expected? What if he doesn’t feel that way anymore?”
“you’ll never know until you tell him”
She was quiet…anyone who’s anyone can tell she’s scared shitless.
“ok”
“what?” we didn’t really hear her that well it was so low
“ok…I’ll do it” a huge smile was glued on our faces
“today!”
“no not today” we turned to look at Fajoor confused
“he’s in London with my uncle…he won’t be back until next week”
“How am I supposed to do this?”

She asked us and we were both clueless…how do you go up to a guy you turned down a month ago and confess your love for him? HOW?

We couldn’t answer that.

“we have a week before he comes back…it’s enough time for you to..em..tell him the truth”

As the Day ended we were back to our old selves…us the girls…living the life…partly that is…I just miss 5aled…I miss him a lot. He’s the first thing I think of in the morning and last thought that goes through my mind before bed.

As the days passed...
I found out something I really didn’t expect…Fajoor was Dating!! Yup she’s Dating a guy named Rakan…and it gets better Dalool knew all along…but I’m not going to get upset I can see how happy she is. She’s head over heels in-love with him.I'm not about to make the same mistake twice...
The way she talked about him made it clear that she was so into him. But I can sense something’s wrong…or she’s still keeping something up her sleeve.

Dalool was more than thrilled for her…since she met him and she knew him…I guess he’s not a bad guy.

She told me everything and brought me and Dalool up to speed.

“so he gave me an ultimatum…either I marry him or it’s over”
“WHAT?!!” Dalool was furious
“I…I said yes”
“WHAT?!!! OMG!”
“OMG!!! Do you want this?”
“I know I want to be with him”

OMG this reminds me so much of 5aled!!! MEN!!! THEY’RE SO WEIRD!
I THOUGHT THEY LIKED THE SINGLE LIFE….guess I was wrong…well maybe it’s just these guys who are placed on backwards..hehehe

“Dalal…I was going to tell you…even if things haven’t been set straight…you would be the first girl I call…you know that right?” they hugged again squealing and jumping up and down the sofa.

I was enjoying the view really…Fajoor was getting married!!! She was getting married!!! This is such a big deal.

“oh…Dayoom what’s up with you and 5aled?”
CRAP!
“huh?”
“don’t you huh me! Tell me”
“umm…nothing…it’s nothing”
“Dayoom”
“we were..well..ahh..you see 5aled and I were ahh…Dalool?”
“looks like you brothers fell for the twins and vice versa” she laughed
“I knew it!!!! I knew he was falling for you!!! OMG!!!! Well?” she wanted more details…it’s as if we were dishing about our boys and how much we love them…she thinks we’re still together.
“Fajoor…5aled..emm..we’re not together anymore”
“WHAT?!!!this is unbelievable…you date and break up and I’m on the side lines like an idiot?”
“hey…you and Rakan have been together since god knows when and you didn’t tell me!...I just..I just didn’t want things to change…I was afraid if you guys knew that it would change everything…”
“why’d you break up? 5aled isn’t the type who dates and I know him…you must be one hell of a chica to do that”
“yeah well…he’s through Dating…”
“hun you got to explain”
“he wants me to marry him”
“5alood?!!! My brother?!! The joker?!!...no no this is serious…I knew he wasn’t the type who dates but to get married?! OMG!!! You could be my sister in-law or something like that”
“Something like that…Fajoor please just promise you won’t get upset with me”
“ok?”
“I said no…that’s the reason why he broke up with me…don’t Fajoor please…I’m 18 and I’m not ready…do I love him? Yes I do…but I can’t marry him”
“so he ended it?”
“not exactly…he said he doesn’t want anything to do with me unless I was his wife…*air quotes* ya zojty ya walashay…so basically he said he was going to knock on my door when I’m ready but for now he doesn’t want to be a guy I love…he’s driving me crazy by the way!” they laughed

“it’s not funny…it hurts!! I’m in-love with your annoying brother and he doesn’t care!!! UGH! I just want to smack him hard on his head”
“you should”
“you’re getting married, we are both in-love with your brothers and I want a drink” we laughed.

Rakan and his mom were coming over next week...Fajoor shakilha mu 9ij...but she looks confident with her choice.

Three days left before 7amad gets back…I just can’t wait for them to be together…I owe them that much.
………………………………………………………
Dalal:

It been one hell of a week…I get my girls back, find out my sister is in-love with 5aled…who is being a major ass…the girl loves you what more do you want?...get the news of Fajoors…
marriage really?!! Ugh! It’s still not sinking in…and…well 7amad arrives tomorrow…god help me…I just hope I have the courage to tell him.

I know I love him and I know I want to be with him…there’s nothing I’ve been dreaming of other than that…but when its right in front of you and it’s a possibility things change.

My stomach has been doing summersaults the entire day…I can’t focus on anything…my state of thinking is clearly messed up.

I can’t remember anything…I don’t know what to say…how am I going to ever tell him? I’ve been hiding my feelings for a long time and it’s hard to just let them out after you’ve trained yourself to conceal them.

I hope by tomorrow I have the strength to tell him. We decided that Dayoom and I are going to be waiting in their house with Fajoor while 5aled and my uncle (Fajoor’s Dad) pick him up from the airport.
………………………………………………………………
The day of 7amad’s return…

In an hour his flight should arrive…we were all sitting in their living room…wow it’s been a really long time since I was here. I miss it.

My heart was beating and the girls had this stupid smile on their faces that made it worse! I crossed my legs and my arms trying to concentrate and find a calm place for me to think clearly.
My leg was shaking nervously which only made me more nervous.

My heart was the only beat I could hear…it was that loud!...my breathing slightly un-normal…and this is now! what happens when I see him? When I actually stand in front of him and confess my love for him?! What am I going to say?

Ambushing him like this? I don’t think this is such a great idea…I should call before I see him…give him a heads up.

“You guys”
“He’s here”

SHIT! OMG OMG OMG!

Dayoom held my shaking hand.

“breathe” she whispered and I did as I was told.
So it was me, Dayoom and Fajoor glued to each other on the sofa…waiting for him…
Waiting for my 7amad to come through those doors…

I knew that Dayoom was here for 5aled as well…but all I can think of is that 7amad is here…he’s home.

The door swung open and 5aled walked in carrying a luggage bag…my uncle was behind him and…*my heart is out of control*...there he is.

He walked in with a smile as Fajoor ran and jumped on him for a hug. I missed him…he laughed but then his eyes landed on mine and his facial expressions change…his wide grin turned in to a soft smile…then his eyes went elsewhere. I looked back at Dayoom…kanat imtan7a ib 5aled and he was too…I wish I could kick some sense into them.

I felt his stare again…he walked towards us and I felt light headed…what do I say?!!
“7imdela 3ala isalama” I was quiet
“ala esalmich *his eyes on me then back on Dayoom*”

I was really quiet and Dayoom bumped her shoulder with mine…clearly pushing me to tell him.

“ana mashy...tamroon 3ala shay?” his eyes were on Dayoom and Fajoor ignoring me…again.
“ha? *looking at me* emm..salamtik”
“wain ray7 tawik rad…ba3dain gilt ink taby itray7 ishwaya ta3ban min ilsafra!”
“*death stare* ray7 ildwanya asalm 3arab3 imsh weyay”
“la mally 5elg”
“kaifik” and he walked towards the door.

........................................................................................

Dayoom:

There he was standing in front of me…acting like nothing’s wrong…like everything’s fine…it’s burning me up inside! I haven’t slept well in 2 weeks!! And here he is looking…so freakin’ hot! Ugh!

I tried to ignore him as he is ignoring me…his eyes have been focusing on everything else but me!! This is so not what I signed up for.

I didn’t know what came over me but I grabbed his arm and pulled him behind me…I could hear Fajoor giggling.

“Deema?” he asked as soon as I stopped.
“NO! no..no no you don’t get to talk…at all…this time I’m doing all the talking and you’re listening to me…you say you love me? Oh…well then if this is love then I don’t want it…any of it!...i thought you weren’t going to hurt me…I actually thought you could be the one…but I guess I was wrong...for 2 weeks you haven’t sent a message not one!!...what was all the crap you said about marriage?! If you’re acting like…like…UGH! You know what!! Here’s the deal...5aled…it’s either you be with me and then we get married or we leave things where they were and forget everthing between us”

next thing I felt were his lips on mine…crushing me against his hard chest…he pushed me against the wall as lips devoured mine…and I willingly responded.
I had to push him to breath...it was intense…I loved the feeling rushing through my body and veins…
“a7bich ya 7mara…oo low shino many hadich mara thanya” I just heard him say that and I pulled him in for another kiss…an innocent one…ok ok not so innocent but it wasn’t as intense as the one before.
“imshay” he held my hand and pulled me behind him
“wain?”
“ilsayara…walhan 3alaich” I laughed. I knew he was going to take me somewhere to talk…just talk like we always do…nothing serious..i hope he doesn’t bring up the M word (marriage)
……………………………………………
Dalal:

7amad walked out the door and Fajoor pushed me to run after him.

“Shfeech?! Go to him!! Go tell him!!”

She kept yelling softly in my ear and something took a hold on me and I ran after him….i ran as fast as I could.

“7AMAD!”

His head spun around…slightly fearful and shocked…he probably thinks something bad has happened.

“Dalal?”

“*breathing heavily* I….need…to…talk…to…you” my heart was racing…not from the run…but from what I’m about to say...