Part 72 ;***

Dayoom:

The next day…

We woke up with this half smile on our faces…partly happy that we’ve set things straight and then reality hit us like a truck. We both were missing the other half of the equation. We got dressed and headed out ta’3yeer jaw…we both needed it.

I was missing 5aled…his words carved me out like a knife…why’d he say that?! he made me feel like I was…I was…I don’t know but I didn’t like it….he made me look like I was the bad one…madree I felt chiny mu mitrabya! I hate that! A girl should get married when the right guy comes along and I keep rejecting him!

I don’t know who I am anymore…it’s like I just lost complete sense of what I’m like… I was the fearful one…the kind one…I wasn’t so…so…UGH! I don’t know but I don’t like what I’ve become…

I keep hurting the people I love…and I don’t understand why…I shut Dalool out of my life and made her go through what can only be described as pure torture….I keep refusing 5aled and I see how much that hurts him in his eyes….Fajoor…well…I’m just not as close to her…not like she was with Dalool…sure it changed after they cut her out of their lives…but I feel like she has something to hide…like she’s dying to tell me something but is afraid to…7amad…what can I say about him? He’s never around…he’s out all the time…always on his own…I think he’s not taking it well…it just makes it so obvious that he truly cares about Dalool.

I hate what I did…I could have made things right a long time ago…I could’ve let them be together…I was the reason they’re time together was cut short.
This isn’t me…it’s not…it can’t be…why do I keep hurting them?

“Hey! We’re here to breathe and to try and relax nothing more!” I giggled she knew me well enough.
“you’re right…”

I parked the car in a coffee shop and we both entered.

It was completely empty except for two couples… we took our drinks and we sat down in a comfy sofa.

We talked and it’s weird it was like nothing happened…like these three weeks never existed…it made my guilt grow…how could I?!!! How could I have done what I did to her and here she is making me feel better?

“hey!! Cham marra agoolich we’re here to chilax…now chilax”

My tears fell…I just couldn’t.

“haay” she said so softly
“I’m so sorry…wala Dalal I feel like crap for doing what I did…I don’t deserve this…any of it…not you or 5aled”
“Dayoom…*looking up at her*chub”

I smiled that girl seriously is never going to change

“awal shay…I know that you’re sorry and I forgive you…ba3dain it’s in the past and we’re on a new page”
“I love you walla I do”
“yeah?! Hehehe hmmm…oh yeah…I love you too!”

We were quiet after that…enjoying the time we have together and making up for lost time….


One week later…

Still no word from 5aled…I miss him so much..I hate this…I want to hate him so bad but I can’t…I LOVE HIM!! UGH!

For the entire week I’ve been pushing Dalal to go to 7amad to tell him the truth but she’s too stubborn!!

A month passed since the kiss between her and 7amad and I don’t think she can face him…she wants to I can see it in her eyes but she’s holding herself back. it’s been a month since she last talked to him..she has to do something.
“I think we should call Fajoor” her face went pale white..
“why? Emm Dayoom yimken..ya3ni..Fajoor wouldn’t want to see me”
“no…maybe you’re right…but she’ll see me…ba3dain we need to get you and 7amad together” she started tearing up…

No matter what…if it’s the last thing I do…7amad and Dalal are going to be together.
It’s clear now what I should do to make it up to her…get 7amad back…they’re meant to be.

I called Fajoor and she was on her way…I didn’t tell her that Dalool was with me…

After 15 mints Fajoor walked in…she stopped at first when her eyes landed on Dalal but then she kept coming towards us.

“hey”
“hi”

Dalool was quiet…I can tell this was uncomfortable for the both of them. Their eyes betrayed them…it showed how much they missed each other… But we have a lot of things to say and it involves both her brothers…

I tried to explain as best I could the reason why Dalal rejected 7amad. Fajoor’s jaw literally dropped.

“you mean you two were..emm..in-love with 7amad?” we nodded.
“well I thought I was…I’m not…I don’t think I ever was…I guess I was in-love with the idea of 7amad…the thought of having someone…but I didn’t really differentiate between the two…however Dalal actually Loves him”
“but you…em..you turned him down because you thought Dayoom had feelings for 7amad?” Dalool nodded…I can tell that Dalool was overwhelmed.
“emm…but when you found out that Dayoom doesn’t have feelings for 7amad why didn’t you go to him?”
“I found out last week”
“WHAT?!!!” her head spun around to face me.
Crap…I should get used to this by now
“I was mad at her!!! When I found out they kissed I thought she chose 7amad over me….she didn’t know I was over him…or that I was never really into him but still…she thought I was in-love with your brother and she kissed him…and I don’t know I lost it!”
Fajoor was quiet trying to digest everything she’s hearing.
“For three weeks??!”
“I said I lost it!! And I’m really really sorry Dalool walla if I can take it all back I would”
“ok so you didn’t turn him down because you thought he wasn’t good enough?”
“NO! Fajoor I love him and I had to say things I didn’t mean to get him to believe that I don’t see him in that way when all this time that’s all I’ve ever seen him in…”
“ok this really is a bit of a sensitive topic since the guy you like is my brother but…ugh! Dalool you destroyed him…for a month!…for four long weeks he’s been strange…distant…very quiet and he travelled a lot…he never brings you up and we can’t bring you up in front of him…nor mention your name…and..and..and I can’t believe I shut you out!! I can’t believe I never gave you the chance to explain…I just pushed you out…removed you from my life….and *tears* all this time you were the victim…I’m sorry…I’m really sorry”

Fajoor and Dalool hugged and of course I started tearing up just by the sight of it…

“I’m sorry too for not telling you…I just didn’t know what to do”
“Then we’re going to have to fix this”

I checked my phone and…nothing…why was I hoping for something…he made it clear he wants nothing to do with me unless I was officially his. I didn’t think a morning message from him had this much impact on me…I want him back…I do.

“I can’t” we both turned to face her.
“I just can’t…what if I’m not what he expected? What if he doesn’t feel that way anymore?”
“you’ll never know until you tell him”
She was quiet…anyone who’s anyone can tell she’s scared shitless.
“ok”
“what?” we didn’t really hear her that well it was so low
“ok…I’ll do it” a huge smile was glued on our faces
“today!”
“no not today” we turned to look at Fajoor confused
“he’s in London with my uncle…he won’t be back until next week”
“How am I supposed to do this?”

She asked us and we were both clueless…how do you go up to a guy you turned down a month ago and confess your love for him? HOW?

We couldn’t answer that.

“we have a week before he comes back…it’s enough time for you to..em..tell him the truth”

As the Day ended we were back to our old selves…us the girls…living the life…partly that is…I just miss 5aled…I miss him a lot. He’s the first thing I think of in the morning and last thought that goes through my mind before bed.

As the days passed...
I found out something I really didn’t expect…Fajoor was Dating!! Yup she’s Dating a guy named Rakan…and it gets better Dalool knew all along…but I’m not going to get upset I can see how happy she is. She’s head over heels in-love with him.I'm not about to make the same mistake twice...
The way she talked about him made it clear that she was so into him. But I can sense something’s wrong…or she’s still keeping something up her sleeve.

Dalool was more than thrilled for her…since she met him and she knew him…I guess he’s not a bad guy.

She told me everything and brought me and Dalool up to speed.

“so he gave me an ultimatum…either I marry him or it’s over”
“WHAT?!!” Dalool was furious
“I…I said yes”
“WHAT?!!! OMG!”
“OMG!!! Do you want this?”
“I know I want to be with him”

OMG this reminds me so much of 5aled!!! MEN!!! THEY’RE SO WEIRD!
I THOUGHT THEY LIKED THE SINGLE LIFE….guess I was wrong…well maybe it’s just these guys who are placed on backwards..hehehe

“Dalal…I was going to tell you…even if things haven’t been set straight…you would be the first girl I call…you know that right?” they hugged again squealing and jumping up and down the sofa.

I was enjoying the view really…Fajoor was getting married!!! She was getting married!!! This is such a big deal.

“oh…Dayoom what’s up with you and 5aled?”
CRAP!
“huh?”
“don’t you huh me! Tell me”
“umm…nothing…it’s nothing”
“Dayoom”
“we were..well..ahh..you see 5aled and I were ahh…Dalool?”
“looks like you brothers fell for the twins and vice versa” she laughed
“I knew it!!!! I knew he was falling for you!!! OMG!!!! Well?” she wanted more details…it’s as if we were dishing about our boys and how much we love them…she thinks we’re still together.
“Fajoor…5aled..emm..we’re not together anymore”
“WHAT?!!!this is unbelievable…you date and break up and I’m on the side lines like an idiot?”
“hey…you and Rakan have been together since god knows when and you didn’t tell me!...I just..I just didn’t want things to change…I was afraid if you guys knew that it would change everything…”
“why’d you break up? 5aled isn’t the type who dates and I know him…you must be one hell of a chica to do that”
“yeah well…he’s through Dating…”
“hun you got to explain”
“he wants me to marry him”
“5alood?!!! My brother?!! The joker?!!...no no this is serious…I knew he wasn’t the type who dates but to get married?! OMG!!! You could be my sister in-law or something like that”
“Something like that…Fajoor please just promise you won’t get upset with me”
“ok?”
“I said no…that’s the reason why he broke up with me…don’t Fajoor please…I’m 18 and I’m not ready…do I love him? Yes I do…but I can’t marry him”
“so he ended it?”
“not exactly…he said he doesn’t want anything to do with me unless I was his wife…*air quotes* ya zojty ya walashay…so basically he said he was going to knock on my door when I’m ready but for now he doesn’t want to be a guy I love…he’s driving me crazy by the way!” they laughed

“it’s not funny…it hurts!! I’m in-love with your annoying brother and he doesn’t care!!! UGH! I just want to smack him hard on his head”
“you should”
“you’re getting married, we are both in-love with your brothers and I want a drink” we laughed.

Rakan and his mom were coming over next week...Fajoor shakilha mu 9ij...but she looks confident with her choice.

Three days left before 7amad gets back…I just can’t wait for them to be together…I owe them that much.
………………………………………………………
Dalal:

It been one hell of a week…I get my girls back, find out my sister is in-love with 5aled…who is being a major ass…the girl loves you what more do you want?...get the news of Fajoors…
marriage really?!! Ugh! It’s still not sinking in…and…well 7amad arrives tomorrow…god help me…I just hope I have the courage to tell him.

I know I love him and I know I want to be with him…there’s nothing I’ve been dreaming of other than that…but when its right in front of you and it’s a possibility things change.

My stomach has been doing summersaults the entire day…I can’t focus on anything…my state of thinking is clearly messed up.

I can’t remember anything…I don’t know what to say…how am I going to ever tell him? I’ve been hiding my feelings for a long time and it’s hard to just let them out after you’ve trained yourself to conceal them.

I hope by tomorrow I have the strength to tell him. We decided that Dayoom and I are going to be waiting in their house with Fajoor while 5aled and my uncle (Fajoor’s Dad) pick him up from the airport.
………………………………………………………………
The day of 7amad’s return…

In an hour his flight should arrive…we were all sitting in their living room…wow it’s been a really long time since I was here. I miss it.

My heart was beating and the girls had this stupid smile on their faces that made it worse! I crossed my legs and my arms trying to concentrate and find a calm place for me to think clearly.
My leg was shaking nervously which only made me more nervous.

My heart was the only beat I could hear…it was that loud!...my breathing slightly un-normal…and this is now! what happens when I see him? When I actually stand in front of him and confess my love for him?! What am I going to say?

Ambushing him like this? I don’t think this is such a great idea…I should call before I see him…give him a heads up.

“You guys”
“He’s here”

SHIT! OMG OMG OMG!

Dayoom held my shaking hand.

“breathe” she whispered and I did as I was told.
So it was me, Dayoom and Fajoor glued to each other on the sofa…waiting for him…
Waiting for my 7amad to come through those doors…

I knew that Dayoom was here for 5aled as well…but all I can think of is that 7amad is here…he’s home.

The door swung open and 5aled walked in carrying a luggage bag…my uncle was behind him and…*my heart is out of control*...there he is.

He walked in with a smile as Fajoor ran and jumped on him for a hug. I missed him…he laughed but then his eyes landed on mine and his facial expressions change…his wide grin turned in to a soft smile…then his eyes went elsewhere. I looked back at Dayoom…kanat imtan7a ib 5aled and he was too…I wish I could kick some sense into them.

I felt his stare again…he walked towards us and I felt light headed…what do I say?!!
“7imdela 3ala isalama” I was quiet
“ala esalmich *his eyes on me then back on Dayoom*”

I was really quiet and Dayoom bumped her shoulder with mine…clearly pushing me to tell him.

“ana mashy...tamroon 3ala shay?” his eyes were on Dayoom and Fajoor ignoring me…again.
“ha? *looking at me* emm..salamtik”
“wain ray7 tawik rad…ba3dain gilt ink taby itray7 ishwaya ta3ban min ilsafra!”
“*death stare* ray7 ildwanya asalm 3arab3 imsh weyay”
“la mally 5elg”
“kaifik” and he walked towards the door.

........................................................................................

Dayoom:

There he was standing in front of me…acting like nothing’s wrong…like everything’s fine…it’s burning me up inside! I haven’t slept well in 2 weeks!! And here he is looking…so freakin’ hot! Ugh!

I tried to ignore him as he is ignoring me…his eyes have been focusing on everything else but me!! This is so not what I signed up for.

I didn’t know what came over me but I grabbed his arm and pulled him behind me…I could hear Fajoor giggling.

“Deema?” he asked as soon as I stopped.
“NO! no..no no you don’t get to talk…at all…this time I’m doing all the talking and you’re listening to me…you say you love me? Oh…well then if this is love then I don’t want it…any of it!...i thought you weren’t going to hurt me…I actually thought you could be the one…but I guess I was wrong...for 2 weeks you haven’t sent a message not one!!...what was all the crap you said about marriage?! If you’re acting like…like…UGH! You know what!! Here’s the deal...5aled…it’s either you be with me and then we get married or we leave things where they were and forget everthing between us”

next thing I felt were his lips on mine…crushing me against his hard chest…he pushed me against the wall as lips devoured mine…and I willingly responded.
I had to push him to breath...it was intense…I loved the feeling rushing through my body and veins…
“a7bich ya 7mara…oo low shino many hadich mara thanya” I just heard him say that and I pulled him in for another kiss…an innocent one…ok ok not so innocent but it wasn’t as intense as the one before.
“imshay” he held my hand and pulled me behind him
“wain?”
“ilsayara…walhan 3alaich” I laughed. I knew he was going to take me somewhere to talk…just talk like we always do…nothing serious..i hope he doesn’t bring up the M word (marriage)
……………………………………………
Dalal:

7amad walked out the door and Fajoor pushed me to run after him.

“Shfeech?! Go to him!! Go tell him!!”

She kept yelling softly in my ear and something took a hold on me and I ran after him….i ran as fast as I could.

“7AMAD!”

His head spun around…slightly fearful and shocked…he probably thinks something bad has happened.

“Dalal?”

“*breathing heavily* I….need…to…talk…to…you” my heart was racing…not from the run…but from what I’m about to say...