Blind Love 64

Hey there! <3>

reminder:

BUBBLES --> Jinan

BUTTERCUP--> Hind

BLOSSOM -->Marzoug (Hind's potential future husband)

on a side note: I'm feeling down today :'( so i'm sorry it took me a while to post this...without further ado...enjoy :)

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JINAN:

“Jinan shfeech?, ana lo adri ena byz3jch el mawthoo3 chithy chan maybt”

i cut him off and replied..

“shno ya3ni?!” i got angry and defensive all of a sudden, i have no idea why...

“shfeech jinan magilt shay” he tightened his grip on me.

“shga9dk? shno ma3indi galb?!” i pulled away my hand from his.

“jinan shfeech?” hind asked taken back with my attitude..

“nothing!” i got up and left the table furiously... i headed towards the nearest exit which was the toilet.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me! i have no idea why i just did that.. i was mainly angry with MYSELF. 

I was angry because i was so mean and rude to him these past two days! and NOW THIS!  it’s like i’m out of control around jassim and i can’t seem to make things right anymore.

i knew he annoys the hell out of me but UGH! i didn’t have to go crazy back there. I don’t know how to deal with this.

i just feel...horrible!!! sick to my stomach with what just happened.

my hands over the sink just breathing...

I looked up at myself in the mirror.

he had gone through such a traumatic experience, he went through hell... but he managed to get himself back..

he smiles, jokes and laughs...no one would ever suspect he lost the most important people in his life.

i kept looking at myself wondering if i had the courage to get myself back on track if anything like that ever happened to me, god forbid it. I’d be so alone...

i don’t even know how to fix this anymore...

Jassim and I...well we’re like gasoline and fire...we’d either go up in flames and burn to the ground taking each other down...or...and this is rare...we’d burn to the degree where we’d light each others life with joy...everything would be warm,lit and clear.

we were just that...Fire and gasoline...dangerously unstable...

all i know is if we were left in a room all alone, we’d be lucky if one of us came out alive...and i’m not over exaggerating! 

“Jinan!”  hind stormed into the toilet

I turned around...

“yanaitay!?!”

“*sigh* madri sh9ar feeni Hanood ”

“la la 7asha mu 9a7ya! tadreen shgali?!!”

oh great here it comes...

“gali roo7ai e3tathray mn jinan mni, goleelaha mu ga9di” she looked at me with such anger...

“Jinan! entai eli bt3tathrain mna! tsm3eenii?!” i nodded

she took a few deep breaths then..

“now that that’s done, are you ok?!*concern tone*” she came closer

“*i shook my head in defeat*madri hanood madri!! i don’t know how to be ME around him hanood!..it’s like every time i try to be myself i have this guard up because i’m expecting him to attack just like old times...and if he doesn’t i’ll go in for the kill!!... he ends up hurt and i’m the person to blame and it’s just not something i can tolerate anymore, a7ss i’m back in high school ‘n’ he grew up and moved on from these stupid childish things we do to one another! 9ij enarfzni sometimes o y6afrni o yt‘3ashmar bas ma 3ad yjra7ni mthl gabl...but i haven’t changed...i still hurt him the way i used to hurt him in high school...”

“ *sigh* yeah. i’ve noticed” i looked up at her shocked... making everything i said a reality not just a feeling...

i hate when life gets all serious with me...

doesn’t life know i’m not the serious type? :(

“sm3eeni Jinan, I don’t think Jassim wants to hurt you, and i don’t think he wanted to do that to you back in high school either...i think it was his way of getting you to notice him, i’m not a shrink or anything but i think he likes you”

i looked at her with a blank straight face...

“ts6a3b6een?!”

just when i thought i was the idiot of the bunch...something happens to reassure me i was a close second...like her words just now...

“did you see the way he held your hand? puh-lease woman the guy likes you and he’s not afraid to show it!”

“god hanoood you could be such an airhead sometimes, hun that meant Nothing”

yep, it’s official...my baby is clueless..

“whatevaaa i’m not going to butt in any more, whether you want to admit it or not, Jassim likes you”

“*sigh* let’s just get this over with and get home”

she nodded in agreement..

I told her to go back to the table while i “compose” myself....

I took a deep breath and opened the door of the toilet heading out only to find him waiting for me at the end of the short hall...

“hey” he called for me concerned looking at me with his sad eyes...

wait for it...

wait for it....

yep there it is!!!...

MY GUILT crawling it’s way back into me...

I mouthed back “I’m sorry”

he smiled and winked back at me, then he nodded with his head for us to go back to our table...

i smiled back...

it’s times like these i HATE the most...the times where HE’S THE BETTER MAN! and i’m the bad guy :(....

god i hope Hanood isn’t right about that mushy stuff...

me and jassim?...oh god help us all...he’s just not my type..

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HIND:

Jinan got back to the table, there was a moment of silence until the guys looked at each other and smoothly talked about random things making it less awkward... 

I love how guys do that! unbelievable! the gift of making things seem like there was nothing out of the ordinary...

so we enjoyed what was left of this sit down...

surprisingly Jinan made a good effort in making things a bit better...she would laugh at their jokes and make up hers... but, every now and then she’d look at me with the question of when we’re leaving and a bit of desperation in her eyes to run for the door...

i’d like to torture her for a few more minutes, she has to feel bad for what she did...

it’s exhausting being a mother to Jinan, joury and lulu.

I giggled out loud at that last thought! me a MOTHER to them?! hahahahaha!!

all of sudden jinan turned to me...god it’s scary how that girl can read me.

she knew i wasn’t laughing about the funny story 6alal was saying...

I laughed even more and apparently she joined in with me...

we ordered the check, and we all paid for our meals...

of course Jinan and I had to fight for it, 

Jassim 3azmna bas Jinan wouldn’t have that and neither did i...

of course i would’ve liked to save a few pounds but oh well..

so as stubborn as we both are we paid our meals and said our good byes...

we grabbed a taxi and left heading to Jinan’s london estate...

In the ride back:

“jay, can we talk now?” i was serious and i meant business...

i can’t wait till we got home, i have to show her what marzoug sent me and we needed to figure out what our next move would be...

“akeeed baby! bdoon mats2leen!!” 

God i love her...

“Blossom is ticked off, plus check this *handing phone over*”

“hanood a9lan ma ba6altay elmsgs!”

“i didn’t have the courage to, i didn’t even read the chat!”

she went straight to the chat...

“woah...blossom sure is upset”

“a7san!! gal3ita! mabeeh! ana mabeeh!”

“ok lat7ateen, we’ll get this straightened out tomorrow...”

“i can’t wait that long jinan, every passing hour is an hour closer to my marriage to him!”

“Buttercup baby...*giggle* i miss calling you buttercup...”

“Bubbles! focus!”

“listen were going to see 3ami fahad tomorrow, and right now we’ll just reply the best way possible...”

“which is?”

“ignore the ignorant baby...ignore and concur!”

“isn’t it divide and concur?”

“would you please just go with the flow!”

“i don’t think ignoring is doing anything jinan!!”

“bubbles!”

“Ugh! bubbles! happy?!”

she nodded like an idiot...

“i want to take him down and i want to do it tonight!...jinaHHH bubbles! i’m going to reply and you’re going to help me reply”

“fine...*muttering softly*i still think ignoring him is better...”

“i heard that!”

“that was the idea! pshh”

“so..aaa...what’s in the chat?”

she held my phone up to her face, rolled up to the beginning of the chat...

i looked straight ahead of me, took a deep breath and was ready to hear it...

i waited a few seconds my heart pounding loudly in my chest as she kept scrolling up... 2 seconds later  i waited some more...

“YALAA MA 9ARAT!”

“WAY  BSMLA A39ABICH!”

“3A6EENI MAFEENI 9ABR!” i snatched the phone from her as i read what marzouq (blossom) wrote...

........................................................................

JOURY:

I whispered softly to Saif about my trip to london tomorrow and the reason behind it...

he was fully supportive and asked if he could call and text me while i’m there...

of course i told him he most certainly could...

“mno weyakom? laykon bas entai o lulu?” he whispered so low, dreading our mothers might hear...

“la weyana 9ali7” i was about to say 3abdalla but i know saif, he gets jealous and protective easily...kind of reminds me of how 9ali7 is protective of us...

why am i even thinking of 9ali7...

“mashi” i could sense he wasn’t at ease but i just didn’t want to get into it with him...

i know he fears losing me but common...

he should just trust me...I mean in all honesty what has he got to fear? it’s not like i’m going to fall for another guy in London in just a week!

so we talked a little more and then said our goodbyes..

i still had butterflies in my stomach...and i couldn’t stop grinning!

“wala 5osh nas” my mother commented...

i wanted to jump with joy but gotta keep up the front that I'm a rational and mature young adult...

what i really wanted was to dance the night away!! everything went so smoothly and it’s like Saif and i were never apart..

oh god where’s Jinan at a time like this, she’ll know how to really get a party started!

so i excused myself and went to my room...

got my things ready for my early morning flight..

1 msg received from Saif at 12:15 am..

t9b7een 3ala 5air o troo7een wtrdeen bsalama 7abeebti.

i replied with a goofy smile stuck in my face...

i then texted 9ali7 to remind him about picking me up from the airport tomorrow..

1 msg recieved from 9ali7..

lat7ateen  mu naseech, how was ur day?

1 msg sent to 9ali7

PERFECT el7mdela <3 how="how" urs="urs" was="was">

he didn’t reply as fast so I headed to bed still smiling about my future with Saif...

Today is just perfect! no one can ruin it for me :D

i slept peacefully that night...

............................................................................

While joury slept, 9ali7 was wide awake...he kept re-reading her msg...

he couldn’t help but ask...this was his joury after all..or was she?

she’s that happy... he thought.

she’s that happy with Someone else...

he marched over to the kitchen for some cold water...

with a heavy heart... he tried his best to accept what was happening..

Saif won.