Blind Love 61

WARNING: Short post but! i'll be posting tomorrow as well enshala ;)

...................................................

LULU:

my heart starting aching, i knew what they were talking about i just didn’t want to hear it...

i thought that we were past this! why can’t they just get that..

“lulu ohwa dctor jra7at 3yoon o m5ta9 bhal mawthoo3, o bas eshoofich ygdar mn ba3dha enshala e7alil weyana wath3ich”

“3ashan chithy yaybeeni hni?”

“lulu” he said carefully

“nabilich el5air o etha hal dctor ygdar esa3dich”

“o ana mali ray bl mawthoo3?!” i interrupted  

all i could hear were  the exact words i constantly got from all the previous doctors...that my condition is permanent...

“Lulu mntay 5asrana shay bas m7awla a5eera”

“9ali7 ana sakart elmawthoo3 mn zman! chan kalamtooni blkuwait! bdal mata5thooni hni”

“we’re already here, lulu he’s in the building across the street. bas 5ali eshoofich!” i could feel the desperation in his voice.

i didn’t know what to say, i didn’t even know what to think about all of this...

This topic, This topic no matter how you come about it, it’s always painful and hard. i couldn’t grasp what they actually wanted from me.

it was hard enough to accept the fact that I’ll always be blind, It took a lot from me, my strength and my emotions to really accept that there was no hope in me ever seeing again.

I ACCEPTED IT. I was grateful to be alive, i was starting to feel alive again. I’m at peace with it. I’m at peace with being blind..

that last sentence echoed in my head...

I’m at peace...

next thing i felt a pair of big warm hands over mine...holding tightly i might add...

“tathgeen feeni?” i nodded

“3ayal emshai weyay enshoof maison”

everything in me was in hyper mode. i couldn’t describe what was going through me ... my hands were trembling.

As we were entering maison’s building 9ali7 spoke a few comforting words then he got all serious...

“lulu 7ayati sm3ay” i could feel how unsure he was...

“lo sh9eer weyana na7md rabna 3ala el97a wl3afia”

i nodded in agreement...

as we got to the floor i could hear 3bdala and dr.maison talking in the distance...

9ali7 held on to me tightly...i could feel that he was over protective..

“9ali7 oboy yadrii?”

I heard a lot about experimental treatments but no way, shape or form was my dad risking me or my life on it.

9ali7 kept quiet...i could actually feel a bit of guilt in the air somewhere..

“la2” he finally let out...

“why?” i asked knowing the answer...

“you know why...3ayara mako fayda mnch” i giggled, under all this pressure i managed to giggle...

“so this beautiful creature is the famous lulu”

i heard 9ali7 annoyingly clearing his throat i couldn’t help but laugh... brotherly instincts you could say...

“magdar aswii shay lana hal kalb ohwa eli bshoofich” he whispered in my ear...

i let out a huge laugh...typical 9ali7.

next thing i felt my hand being lifted into a shake and of course i got that it was Dr.maison introducing himself to me.

At Maison’s Office...

So he sat with us and explained how he usually works and the procedures i might go through after we get some tests done and checked.

“as for now i need some x-rays and get a few basic tests that’ll determine the extent of damage”

“damage”

everything was coming right at me too fast, i don’t think i was able to grasp what was going on...it feels like i’m dreaming somehow... his last word haunted me for some reason...

is that what i am? Damaged?

“ok she’ll do it” he let out quickly i guess he was afraid i might back out of it.

i mean how amazing would it be if i have a chance at seeing again...

and for some reason i desperately wanted to see his face... 3bdalla’s face... i wanted to know if what i pictured in my head matches what he looks like in reality.

and if i have a chance then, one day of eye surgery isn’t the worst thing in the world...i mean i guess that’s what’s going to happen...I’m not sure really what happens all i was used to is getting the same bad news over and over again.. 

look at me with my high hopes...i’m just doing this for them. I shouldn’t get my hopes too high!! 

i could hear 9ali7 on the phone...

“ee kalmnaha , ee enshala, tadrii...el7een ehya weya elnurse dasheen bsawoon f7o9at, joury hadday” 

JOURY?! wait wait MY COUSIN JOURY?!!