This is the pre-final everyone, posting the finale next saturday night enshala ;) can't post any time sooner due to circumstances, stay tuned and in touch!
P.S read previous posts to catch up...
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LULU:
so we enjoyed talking for another hour or so i presume until i heard a knock on our door...
“mno?”
“elshay6an”
“shno tabi”
“abeekom entaw”
i giggled...
“7ayaaak”
I heard the door open and if i’m not mistaken there were two sets of feet stepping into the room...
yep...the boys are here.
“shraykom ntmasha ib hyde park?”
“eljaw 5ayalii shtgooleen Lulu?”
“oo anaaaaaaa shno elba6a elsoda!”
..........................................
Joury:
he was getting weirder by the second! he wont even look me in the eye.....
“oo entai 6ab3an” 3bdalla added...
“yala el7een ntjahaz”
“mashi, 3ad lat‘5thoonlkom sna”
so the handsome two left us while we got our faces done and got dressed up in attempt to look good for the park since lulu was in the mood to dress up which is always a good thing.
I grabbed myself a red laced Erdem dress and my little pink Chanel bag which only fit my phone and a lipstick...i threw in my credit card and walked towards lulu as i saw her pulling up some black stockings...I grabbed my pink Chanel flats feeling like a boss...
“you need help?”
“no i got this”
she started fixing her dress by the feel of her hands...
moments like this i wish that she was able to see how beautiful she looked... she was breath taking.
“sky blue is your color baby” i said in a flirtatious way
“*giggle* alla yahdeech”
“gelt shay ‘3ala6?? *smirk*”
i tied my hair up into a ponytail and applied the essentials..liner, blush and Chapstick...
i then went over to lulu, letting her hair down and fixing up her make up with a dramatic liner, nude lips and a peach blush...stunning was an understatement...
we walked towards 9ali7 and 3bdallaa...both seem to gaze a little more than usual...can’t really blame them we look AWESOME...
“7adeeqa mu 3rs” 9ali7 stated... next thing i hear 3bdalla laughing at 9ali7s remark....
really? really???? MEN...they never get it...
“why? are we over dressed?” lulu questioned
“ it’s not just the park, we’re having lunch later and a little girl time shopping...so no we’re not”
i gave 9ali7 the “you’re a jerk” stare...
he smirked for a moment, just a moment where i felt like it was us...the old us...and then that spark in his eyes turned off so fast and his smirk went back to no facial expression what so ever...
as if...
i was a stranger.
that’s how he acted around girls he didn’t know, very serious, and distant.
i brushed it off as if i didn’t notice, I’m probably just over analyzing everything....I grabbed my camera in hopes i might capture a few shots for my personal collection...and maybe hopefully could show them to my bestie...lulu..
At the park....
we were walking and enjoying our time... i of course took pictures like an insane photographer obsessed with getting the perfect shot..
3bdalla and 9ali7 were walking side by side with lulu as i was engrossed with different angles and different moments...
each time i’d look up, i’d realize i’m way behind and i have to hurry up and catch up with the lot...
so i ran ahead of them looked back and took a shot of what i would say a picture worth a thousand words...
3bdalla tenderly holding Lulu’s hand whispering something to her, whilst she had a smile that shined brighter than the sun...9ali7 holding lulu and looking at my lens...his eyes, his face...tired.
probably stressing over Lulu’s outcome...i know that face of his...it’s when he’s stressed and overwhelmed...
I love how much he cares and how hard he tries to hide it from us...
................................................
Lulu:
I was fidgeting with my fingers as we walked side by side..i could smell him near me...his scent was intoxicating..
next thing i felt were his warm hands atop of mine...
“basich *chuckle*”
i whispered so low...i couldn’t contain it anymore...
“wetha ma nj7at el3amlyaa...magda”
“shshshsh...btnja7 o btshoofeen...”
“matadrii ymkn”
“ra7 tnja7 lulu...tathgeen feeni?”
i nodded...
“5ala9 3ayal...9adgeenii btshoofeeen”
i had the biggest smile in the world....
i could feel something trickle down my cheek...
i think it was a tear...i believed his every word...
i felt like...i could breathe easy again..that..that i was whole...or soon to be anyway...
.................................
Joury:
after the park we headed to harrods for some shopping, met up with Jinan and Hind at a corner cafe where the music played a tad bit louder than usual...it sorta gave us the chance to talk openly without fearing any “5aliji” to overhear our convos..
we were up to date with what was happening with Hind and her nightmare of a future husband... i honestly have no clue how they’re going to be “open and straight” with this guy, all i could do was support their decision...
Lulu told them what we planned and they were so psyched up and happy to see her face this..
“Lulu! i’m so proud of you my beautiful wittle baby!”
“see i don’t get it...i mean what do guys see in her?? keep talking like that and you’ll end up one of those cat ladys”
“ha shtabeeeen!!!”
Lulu was flat out laughing
“you guys haven’t changed a bit”
“ya kalba enshoof etha basa3dich weya blossom elyoom”
“who’s blossom?”
“oh god...KEEP UP, he’s the idiot that chose this psychotic friend of mine as his future life partner...”
“psychotic?! PSYCHOTIC?! so help me god! if you DON’T help me i’ll show the true meaning of PSYCHOTIC”
“honestly i’m scared now”
“you’re not the only one”
and so we kept talking and our convos wouldn’t end...it felt like forever...
i told them about saif and how things are between us...
they saw my stupid goofy smile... we talked some more each one of us couldn’t contain ourselves we just bolted out everything that’s happening in our lives...I missed those two like crazy...
............................................
While the girls were enjoying there day, 9ali7 wanted a chance to be alone, to really think of what’s happening...who he’s losing and if it’s even the same person he fell for...
His many attempts to leave the apartment alone was a failure, 3bdalla was able to read him like an open book and this time he’s not going to let him make the decisions on his own...
this time he has to hear what his best friend has to say and this time...he has to tell him everything...
after all...3bdalla was now seeing 9ali7 as his future brother in law if lulu will have him...
“ya3ni laish matabeeni?” he thought then brushed that awful thought away as he saw his friend wearing away right in front of him...
“bt7acha wala shlon?”
he asked strictly with a slight temper..
9ali7 looked up at 3bdala while contemplating whether or not to let out everything he was hiding...
he sat there on the couch starring up at his best friend with the weight of the world on his shoulders...but this is 9ali7...
when it comes to family nothing...i mean nothing comes out...
he’s not used to discussing such a matter with a stranger even if that stranger is his most trusted friend...
A friend who fell for his sister...that might even destroy his trust in him if he finds out...when it comes right down to it...3bdala isn’t family and family matters stay within the family...
“9ali7!”
“a7bhaa zain!”
3bdala kept quiet...he knew 9ali7 will start talking on his own...
“*ssiiiiggghhhh* en5a6bat”
“en5a6bat mn elzft saif”
“el7aywan eli ra7 mn waray 3ashan *took a deep breath*”
“a9lan madri etha a7bha!”
3bdala could feel how 9ali7 was struggling opening up like this to him...
“3bood willy yr7am omk 5alni ib7ali”
3bdala stood there starring...
he walked over to the mini bar, grabbed two bottles of cold water and handed 9ali7 one and sat across from him...
“getlaha enk et7bha?”
“agoolk madri etha a7bha etgooli etha getlaha a7bha?!”
“enzain shilly em5aleek etshk?”
9ali7 couldn’t say it out loud...not even to himself...
his joury wasn’t as innocent as he thought she was...
she was in 4 different relationships including Saif...
she was his angel, and now...she’s just...ruined...he thought as it stung him soar in his chest...
i should’ve paid more attention...i should’ve protected her more...he thought
“madri” he said avoiding his friend’s eyes...
“9ali7 etha ra7at mnk el7een, lasma7 alla b7adth aw ib zawaj...sh9eer feek?”
9ali7 looked up at 3bdala, his eyes shocked...then slowly turned tired...
“madri” that’s all he could say as a thousand different feelings came rushing through him...
The thought of losing her...it stung and hurt more than he could let out...
“mani gadr a76 3aini ib3ainhaa...a7s’ha ra7at mn eedii...bt9eer ib thmat Saifo...gelna wa6y bas magdar ana atda5l o a5th’ha mna, lo shno karamti matsma7li”
“ent tsta3b6?”
9ali7 looked up at 3bdala confused
“wetha getlk enk t7bhaa..oo adri enk t7bhaa.. o ham enk a7san mn Saif ib alf mara...ham bt’thl chithy ga3d?”
“3bood willy 3afeek eli feeni kafeenii”
“hathi 7ayatk o amr raj3lk *hands up* lakn mthl joury mara7 tlga...entaw laygeen 7ag ba3ath...bas a3eed agoolk ham etha mako n9eeb enshala rabi e3awthk bily a7san mnhaa”
just then 9ali7 froze...
someone else? someone besides his joury? The last few years he’s always seen her as his, it’s always been her as his future wife...always...
it struck him like a bolt of lightening, he was determined and sure...
he knew what he had to do...
3bdala just stood there as he read the facial expressions of his friend, he knew what was about to happen...he knew and smiled..
his friend is finally going to have to gather the courage he has to tell her how he feels...
Joury will finally know how 9ali7 truly feels about her.
they got dressed and headed to the restaurant to meet the girls...
he just needs the right moment alone with her....
.................................................................
Joury:
After our meet up with the girls we said our goodbyes and headed to a small cozy restaurant for a late lunch/dinner with the boys and headed home..
it was a day well spent if i had to say so...
however... 9ali7 looked much better today...well at least he looked at me...eye to eye... i must be paranoid, who knew getting engaged would make you go mad?
I couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to talk to me back in the restaurant but couldn’t...anyways i got dressed down to my pj’s and headed to Lulu’s room...
things are moving smoothly so far, i’m trying to make sure Lulu is at ease and at the same time have her prepare for the worst...
I can’t risk losing her again....
The thought of how Lulu was so distant and cut off from the world her first few month after the accident shook me to my core, I will not let her fall back in that state.
9ali7 and 3bdala are too optimistic about this, i however have my doubts...
“lulu baby sm3ai”
“*giggle* ga3d asma3 ”
for some reason she always giggles when i call her baby ;P
“i want you to be prepared for whatever the test results show, o mahma e9eer bacher whether it was good news or bad, we’re going to be fine,”
she nodded along with each word that came out of my mouth...
“you are going to be fine...you are the strongest person i know lulu, you really are and this...this is just merely an added bonus...etha nj7at 5air o brka o etha ma 9ar bl6aqaq”
i could tell she was taking it well until i referred to her regaining her “sight” as “added bonus”...that’s when her nodding stopped and her eye brows creased with confusion...
“added bonus? Joury this isn’t just a bonus, this is me becoming whole again, getting back what was mine to begin with!, it’s not just an addition or a bonus, not to me at least...it’s everything!! *chocking up*”
“asfaa lulu wala it’s a bad choice of words all i meant to say is.. just...”
she was quiet and tearing up...ME AND MY VOCABULARY!
“lulu please don’t cry”
she was really hurt...I hate myself ya3ni THINK JOURY THINK BEFORE SPEAKING!
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LULU:
“i’m not crying because of your words joury *sniff* i know you inside out and i know what you meant *trying to breathe*...it’s just...i want this so badly and the thought of it not *shaking my head*......adri wala adri elmafrooth i expect the worst... bas abi ashoof joury... bas abi aba6l 3yoonii oo ashoof...”
“lulu *pitty*”
“ *tears* walaht 3ala 3yooni, walaht 3ala elalwan, walaht joury walaht!”
“Lulu el7mdela 3ala kel 7al, magdar awaseech bas agdar agoolich twaklay 3ala alla, elli fi el5air byeech o rabi eyasra lich o en kan fee shar alla laygarba mnch....7ee6ai emanich fi alla o rabi esahlhaa”
her words as much as they were suppose to comfort me, and as much as i believed in those words...i was deeply distraught by the unknown...by my sight loss and possibly my future with the man i cared for...
all i kept thinking of was me...i know this sounds selfish but...
i missed being me, being able to take care of ME,
I want to be able to tell if a single door is open or closed without having to spread out my arms in front of me,
whether it was day or night,
how many steps there are left,
being able to pull out an outfit without having to feel the tags or fabric...
being able to tell where the spoon, the plate and the cup are located without making a mess...
most of all...i miss painting...i miss being alone with my canvases,my brushes and my pallet of vibrant colors allowing myself to go to my own world, to breathe and come back with souvenir of feelings right there on my now fully drawn canvas...
with each painting i can tell exactly what i was thinking, my feelings at the time and what i was expressing...of course no one was allowed to see my work since it was my way of venting and dealing with life, i wasn’t painting for the sake of creating something pretty, it was my way of...breathing. sorta like my diary in a way... however I never liked the written word...it makes it so easy for anyone to read, but painting...well thats just between you and your brush strokes.
As i tried to calm myself down, i kept wondering...what if i actually remain the way i am...
i’m only 20 years old...will i always have the darkness as my companion 40-50 years from now...will i always...be stuck?
Darkness...the thing i feared the most...the thing i still fear...forever trapped in my worst nightmare...
i clung tightly on the bed sheets as i tried to calm myself again...the worst moments are the moments where i’m left alone...when it’s quiet...
alone,dark and silent....these were my now constant companions.
why cant i get back my sight? why cant i believe in it happening? it could! i could wake up one day feeling the heat of the sun on my face and opening my eyes to blinding light that hurts so much i’d want to cry...i want that...i want to open my eyes and get to see WHITE as the first color....i want to be able to tell if a door is open or closed, whether i have an obstacle ahead or not, if anyone else is in the room. I want to be able to pick out my dresses, get lifted by certain color choices, to be able to stare into my face and stress over a stupid pimple or whether my hair was perfect...I want to be whole again...
“Joury” i said without any doubt in my voice, it was clear and calm
“hmm”
“I’m going to get my sight back” there was no doubt in my mind, I will see again.
all i could hear was her silence, i could almost swear that she held her breath at that moment...
I know, I know i deserve this, i will see again.
3abdalla believes it, and i know i can trust him...
........................................................
Hind:
It was time...unfortunately i had to pee every 5 seconds from my nerves! Jinan doesn’t help at all in these situations...
when our time came to call him she walked towards me carefully as if she’ll pounce on my any second now holding the phone while she hummed horrifically with popping bold eyes and fierce face....SERIOUSLY?!
“Mu mn 9ijich!”
“*keeps humming with that horrific look*....”
“stop, zain chithy! i have to peeee agaaain!!”
I could hear her laughing hysterically as i rushed to the toilet...
“YALA KEL HATHA 7AMAM”
“chub zain!....*low voice* Kalba”
“I HEARD THAT!!”
“WELL I SAID IT OUT LOUD”
finally i composed myself and headed to face the soon bitter reality of it all...
I hope he understands and choses to leave...
before i called i realized that i didn’t really call him back from the time i dropped the bomb of having lunch with Jassim and 6alal...
just then i noticed that i had a msg from him...
He was clearly upset with me, and he was pissed off with how i was treating him...i think he was having enough...
he asked about Jassim and 6alal...who they are and why i was acting the way i was...
i kinda feel bad for him...
“el7een call and explain everything”
“you make it sound so simple!”
“just don’t mention me”
“if i go down guess who’s coming with me?”
Jinan shook her head as she handed me my phone again...
DIALING BLOSSOM (Marzouq)....
“aloo?”
i heard his voice and i felt the earth beneath me stop... i gazed at my friend as i tried to get the strength i have to start talking...
“Hind?”
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Joury:
After Lulu went to bed, i couldn’t sleep at all, i was panicking, this isn’t good...
I grabbed my phone and texted Saif hoping he might sooth me and calm me down...
whilst texting him which took him forever to reply i decided to call...
he answered and spent a mere 10 mnts with me...he could tell i was hysterical but he was tired and wanted sleep...after talking to him and roaming around the room like a freak i still didn’t get any satisfaction...i needed someone to just...calm me down.
to tell me everything will be fine....
........................................................
While Joury paced silently like a person seeking Advil in her room another was wide awake and waiting for his chance to let out everything that was bottled up inside him...everything he had to say, feel and knew about his Joury...and they were merely a few walls apart....
9ali7 went to the kitchen to get him something cold to calm his agitated nervous...
As he was about to head back to his room, the girl’s door opened and out walked the person possessing his every thought..
“joury?” he whispered
“*gggaassssppp*”
she jumped taken off guard as her hand rested over her chest as if to contain her heart.
“9ali7 5ara3tni!”
“shmga3dich?” he could tell she wasn’t ok, and like he always does..his protective instincts took over...
“shfeech?” he asked concerned as he saw how she was trying to tell him something...
he thought, he believed for a moment...just one moment...that maybe..just maybe she felt the same way he was...maybe she was struggling with the words just like he was and maybe...just maybe she could be...his.
what if she was trying to tell me that she cares for me, that she actually is mine....that she loves me just as much as i love her...
what if...we both want to say the same thing....
and just like that, the moment was taken away when joury told him her concerns for lulu...
as much as he cared and loved his sister...
it pained him to realize that, the person he loved the most couldn’t read him, couldn’t see what he was holding inside...that that one person he was different with...was blind to his love.
and just as always...he regained his composure before she could realize the thoughts running in his head...
he spent an hour with her calming her down...
just as he was about to talk to her about his feelings...she got off the couch, thanked him, yawned and headed to bed...
he stared as she walked away...her silhouette carved in his memory...
tomorrow...he thought...tomorrow...
